Just a chat or a bad sign if I want kids?

[Sixtyonestreet]

NC this as feel embarrassed.

Had a few dates with a lovely man, on date 6 last night and discussing his friends having a child.

He says ‘ once they (women) hit 28 they just want kids.’ Then he says he always thought he would have kids by now but actually he is glad he doesn’t have them and it doesn’t look like he will have them by 35 anyway as he’s been single a while. He said he isn’t sure whether he even wants them anymore but probably would with the right person. Then finished up by saying at 37 that’s it for women a lot of the time.

For context he is in the medical profession so the 37 comment was more of a medical observation. We are both 33. It was a lighthearted sort of conversation but took me by surprise. He knows I want kids from my dating profile which I know he has read.

I feel strange about the conversation. I want kids. I have been dating him because I like him and I’m usually quite picky.

Is this a bad sign? Or just a chat?

For clarify he said he wasn’t sure he wanted them anymore because he enjoys having a lot of spare time. Although a lighthearted context, I think he did actually mean that!

Whichever it is he sounds unsure as to whether he wants kids or not so if you want ty them badly enough to have it in your profile I'd step away

It’s just a ‘yes or no’ on the profile for kids. He had ticked yes on his as well.

Did you say that you wanted children when you discussed it? Maybe he didn’t notice what you put on your profile or has forgotten.

I think you should make it clear how you feel.

What was the context of women "just wanting kids" at 28 ?

I wouldn't bother with it. Cite that you want different things as the reason you don't want another date. That way he knows your serious-wont be at all offended if you don't see one another. Or he will clarify if he actually does want kids. I wouldn't waste time with someone who doesn't sound like they want them, or are very unsure, if you are sure. Or anyone for whom having them will be "for you" in some way.

Ask him. You are both in you 30's, it's only date 6, you can just say it's definitely what you want out of a relationship and that if it's not a definite yes from him then you don't see the point in continuing. You're not asking him to commit to having kids with you but an ' I'm not sure' at this age isn't really good enough.

I'd have to ask him outright I think, I'd say something along the lines of "hey I was thinking about something you said last night and I just wanted to clear something up"
Then mention about him being unsure if he wants kids and you def do. Make sure he knows this and is aware of this so you don't waste anymore time

You both like each other enough to have had 6 dates. I’d just be honest and up front, that you really do want kids - with the right man - and you like him and would like see him again and see how far your relationship can progress, but feel at your age there’s really no point hanging out with someone who doesn’t see children in their near future. If that’s not him, such a pity but never mind.

He probably just not sure. Or wanting to avoid saying anything that comes across as 'please have my babies'.

He says ‘ once they (women) hit 28 they just want kids

A man making a blanket assumption about women like this would be a red flag for me whether I wanted children or not.

I did ask in a sort of jokey way and he repeated he wanted then with the right person.

One other thing was he said ‘I wouldn’t be getting up in the night, that’s the wife’s job to to the feeding’ just remembered that!!!! I wouldn’t mind but I have a busy job too

I wouldn’t be getting up in the night, that’s the wife’s job to to the feeding

Frankly, he's starting to sound like a sexist idiot.

It's a no from me! I'd leave it, he sounds like an arse.

One other thing was he said ‘I wouldn’t be getting up in the night, that’s the wife’s job to to the feeding’ just remembered that!!!! I wouldn’t mind but I have a busy job too

I revise my opinion. Don’t bother with this man! That’s a red flag if ever there was one. You’ll be knackered and heading for divorce before the child is weaned.

Ewww
Get back on tinder

There are better men out there. Throw this one back.

Ugh he sounds awful! If he’s coming out with sexist crap like this on date 6, I hate to think what he’d be like with the safety net (so to speak) of marriage and children with a woman. Run like the wind, OP!

Seems like it’s time for ‘Next!’

Dirty badgers advice was very good until the update.

You are 33 - End it now and find someone serious.

I wasn't sure until the hideous sexist comment. Oh no, move on from him.

I wouldn’t be getting up in the night, that’s the wife’s job to to the feeding

Fuck that.

To paraphrase Maya Angelou, when someone shows you who they really are, believe them.

There’s always something! Thought he was a good one too

Leave him in the 50s. He sounds like a pig. Ugh!