In laws HELP

[Housten14]

Ok so I'm a new mum, my baby is 4 months old and a dream 😀
My in laws: a bit of background. I've been with my partner for 11 years. It's just his mum & stepdad. His mum has never told my partner she loves him, my partner is very living and is very close to my family. In general our families are very different. His mum didn't even know the due date of her first born grandchild (she text me when I was 10 days over asking when my baby was due). We've never seen much of them before baby was born anyway.
So the issue now is: they're getting narky with us because we never ask her to have him. Our argument is we don't want to shove him onto people we feel more comfortable if they offer. He's been to my sisters for the day 5 times in 4 months and overnight with my mum and she's had him lots because she's offered. I love spending time with my baby and am not possessive or anxious in him being with other people. The lore people in his life hat love him, the better. I therefore don't feel the need to ask my in laws if they want him like I want to get shot of him-especially on weekends which is their only time they want to have him (even though she's a housewife with no hobbies or interests so does nothing all week). Weekends are the only times we as a family of 3 get to spend together, the last thing I want to do is "offer him out" to people that, if I'm honest, I feel aren't really fussed about him anyway and never have been?

Would like some advice from anyone who has experienced this as the grandparents or as another mum with similar experience

Thank you ❤️

My response would be your ds isn't a toy. You aren't obliged to farm him out to keep the peace.
My dc didn't sleep out til secondary school!
My dc, my choice.

4 month old doing sleepovers and days away?

As PP mine were in primary school when they first slept out, by their on choice, not to please someone else.

His mum has never told my partner she loves him,

That ^ is irrelevant. Some people don't go around stating their emotions. I don't ever remember my parents saying those words, but I have no doubt at all about their love for me.

His mum didn't even know the due date of her first born grandchild Again, not really necessary to mention that. I wouldn't register a "due date", as, lets be honest, very few babies arrive on their due date.

We've never seen much of them before baby was born anyway.

what about since ? Obviously a relationship changes when there are dc in the mix.

I just think this is a lack of communication.
They've probably read the millions of threads on here where the OP is horrified that a MiL would even want to hold her dgc, and certainly wouldn't be allowed to ever babysit. Your little one is tiny. You are very unusual in being ready to leave her overnight so young - I imagine they wouldn't have expected it, and they certainly don't want to come over like other PiLs are presented on here as wanting to "take my baby away from me". Then, they've found out you are quite happy with that, so are lettig you know they would love to join in the looking after of their GC too.

I'm not really sure of the issue.
If you feel they don't know her well enough, how much are you inviting them over to spend time with her ?

Backforgood Why do you feel the need to call parts of the OP's post irrelevant? If she mentions it then it's relevant to her story

Does MIL know your baby spends nights away with other family, OP?

Because it isn't relevant to the question. It is trying to present the in-laws in a bad light to sway what people post. Generally, if you post on an internet forum about your situation, it is to get some objective thoughts about the situation. My advice is to not judge people (in this case PiL) because they might have different personalities / different ways of doing things from your own family / upbringing. Because virtually all of us will find that our spouse or partner's family are different in some way or another from our own. Obviously OP is completely free to ignore that thought, or any thought that anyone posts in reply, but she asked 'the public at large' what they thought. I think what I posted