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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Another break up. Finally losing hope.

6 replies

BeeHopeful · 08/03/2019 13:42

After getting out of a vicious, violent marriage, getting through the break up of my last relationship (when he cheated), I genuinely thought "surely there can't be any more bullshit".

I met someone, we were definitely different and being really honest I don't think he was right for me, but he's ended things this week and I'm gutted. Not so much for him I think, but because I'm hurtling towards a point where I won't be able to have a family and I'm losing hope.

The way he ended things was really cold and cruel. He ended it, I accepted it, then he got in touch and said he'd made a mistake. I agreed to meet him. He took that opportunity to tell me again, to my face, that he felt nothing for me. I've now blocked all forms of contact, but I'm so sad.

What am I doing wrong? I swear I'm a good person - I'm successful, caring, fun, relatively alright looking...why does no one kind and decent want to be with me?

Sorry, so self pitying, but it's my birthday soon and it'll be another shit one. I was so excited about the future after my divorce from the violent tosser. Now I just feel afraid that I've wasted too much time and broken myself in the process.

OP posts:
HennyPennyHorror · 08/03/2019 13:56

You could have children without a man you know.

They're not everything. There's nothing wrong with you...did your ex and your ex husband have anything in common? Just wondering if you chose a man like the last?

BeeHopeful · 08/03/2019 14:02

The only thing they've all had in common is that they've been unsuccessful career wise. Otherwise, all very different. I have a really good career that I love, I would love to meet someone who is equally happy in their chosen field but feel like they have their pick of women and I'm never going to be the one.

I could have children alone but I want a family...I've had a miserable childhood which shifted straight into a miserable marriage and beyond. I want a partner.

Sorry, I don't know why I posted. Just feeling low. Wondered if anyone has any insight or got through a load of shit relationships and ended up happy

OP posts:
AskEvans · 08/03/2019 16:28

You've just been unlucky with men up to now. That's the luck of the draw. One of those things. Nothing you've done. There are crap men and crap women in the world and someone's got to interact with them sometimes i guess.
We all have times when we are unlucky and times when we are lucky. I got diagnosed with cancer last year - that's unlucky. But I'm still alive so that's lucky.
Just keep going.

Deletemyname30 · 08/03/2019 21:34

Have a break from all dating and think about how you see your life in the future. What type of partner do you expect? don't settle for anything less.

category12 · 08/03/2019 21:42

How old are you?

ConfCall · 08/03/2019 21:57

I feel for you. I feel kind of the same except I had DCs with most recent ex so there's no biological clock element, just a feeling that I'm lucky in some ways but unfortunate relationships-wise. Some people seem to have plenty of luck, and meet nice men no probs. What's their secret?

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