Hi all, I've changed my name as I feel I want to hide under a rock, I need some guidance and other people views . I have posted other times over the months and you've all helped me. But I'm a bit concerned that I have to keep needing this help...
Here we go again , been with dp for a little over 2 years , live apart, I rent with children, work full time. He owns and lives with Son (young adult)
A little older than me he's 52 I'm early 40s.
'Wants to marry me one day' 'wants to live with me one day' 'I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him' 'I'm his life' tells me all the time .....due to our circumstances I can't move into his as I could make my children homeless & due to my past I can't risk that, he understands this...there is also not enough room at mine for ds to move in here..
he's here 95% of the time goes home after work showers and comes straight round, practically goes home to sleep but stays weekends. Eats here every night I cook for us all and eat with him when he arrives. I had to ask on here for support with contributions to food as my bills increased and I couldn't afford do it. So I had to have the very awkward conversation , now gives me something toward food cost each week. ( should I have had to do that?)
We were planning a holiday, he earns reasonable money , put it this way what he gets in a week I have left after my bills have come out at the beginning of the month but I survive. I sell bits n bobs on eBay and having been saving for nearly 3 years for a holiday abroad..So..... looking at holidays I'm still short about 800 so I have said it's not manageable for me , he suggested using a credit card ! Err no because I can't get into debt. Then he said 'we'll sort it' ?? It's like no direct answer... am I to rob a bank? When I talked to my bestie she went off her tits , said I deserve better and a partnership means he should help me to go as I would him if rolls were reversed. Said he should be doing more for me. She said he's got to comfortable, meals cooked, happy relationship, sex on tap , she said he should be stepping up and treating me better. We rarely go out and if we do I split the bill. I'll send him cards in the post to say I love him and try and do nice things like that to keep the spark alive hel bring flowers maybe once a month , some nights he falls asleep and I stare at the tv that's fine but it's becoming more regular, the other week we went out last minute thing as I got childcare, I done myself up , he wore a hoodie and joggers, no effort at all... it's all starting to eat at me, I want to feel wanted, special and kind of I guess looked after , am I wasting my life and his in a no where to go relationship, what should a relationship be I really am lost. I can talk to him about anything but when it comes to this kind of stuff I freeze. I dont know what to do, what would you do