I think I'm having doubts

[confused23456]

So I have been separated from my husband for nearly 2 years....

I think I'm now having doubts and don't no what to do!
He's got a new girlfriend now but I reckon if I told him I was having doubts he would come back! But I don't wanna do that as I don't want to hurt him!

How do I find out if it's really him I want back or that I'm just lonely and jealous of his new relationship?
(I ended it because I saw him like a brother and couldn't have sex with him anymore, we got on fine and had the perfect family life but the relationship struggled)

I'm so confused

Most people would disagree with this but try and have sex with him and see how you feel 😅

I couldn't do that to him or his new gf tho! Cos what if I did and then realised I couldn't be with him then I would of just broke his heart all over agin 😖

It must be incredibly difficult to see him with someone else, but ultimately the main issue for your separation is still there. Do you still see him as a brother type figure?
It's unfair to ask him to come back and then it all falls apart again in 6 months as you've changed your mind again.

I think if it's 2 years and you haven't missed him then it is just to do with him moving How old are you both?

Why not meet up, do you need to discuss finances or other details and see if attraction is still there.

I don't know how I see him! As when I split up with him he was so heart broken he wouldn't speak to me....2 years later he still won't speak to me in person! So there's no way he would meet up with me!

Nothing more than I would love to go out for dinner with him see how things go but I know he wouldn't and wouldn't actually enjoy my company as he is still so angry at me! And I wouldn't want to hurt him ever again was the worst thing ever

If he's with someone new I would leave it, it's probably just hard because he's with someone.

He's been with her for over a year now!
So just don't understand why it's now!

My STBXH left me in July, he purely said he had fallen out of love with me in a romantic way we had been together 11 years and married a year .. I’m 28, he’s 29.. I’m trying to think of this from how I’d feel if he felt what you’re feeling in 2 years time and honestly.. I don’t think I’d want to know. Part of me thinks I’d be glad to hear he was having doubts but I’d never go back there so it would probably just mess my head and wouldn’t make anything any easier for anyone. Don’t know if this is of any help at all but didn’t want to read and run x

Also he probably went through a lot of pain and has moved forward. Let him live his life.

Your lonely!
Do you socialise yourself?
Have you had any dates since you ended it?
Even if it just talking to people on internet (dating sites), to build your confidence?
Let him be happy as your time will come for you to be happy one day too 😊

I did this Op, met up with my ex who I dumped but still knew he wasn't over me. Biggest mistake I could do, and it was all about me stroking my ego. I was 21 then and twenty years later I realized it was all about me, wondering if he still wanted me, I'm not proud of it and still think I was an awful person to do that to him. Think long and hard if you have his best interest at heart

You haven't spoken to him in 2 years in person but you reckon if you told him you were having doubts he'd come back?? What makes you think that? Time is a great healer and it sounds like he's moved on.

Look forward.

He's not spoken to you in person for 2 years and has been with his girlfriend for two years.

Don't fucking go near him.

but I reckon if I told him I was having doubts he would come back

Given your updates I think you might be over estimating his feelings for you. I think he has wisely moved on and you need to.

Feelings are transient and temporary so just accept them, acknowledge them and they will pass.

Look, if nothing's changed with him to respark this in you (he's been gone two years, he's been with his gf for 12 months) then the change is in YOU. Perhaps your progress in life has stalled, perhaps something's knocked your confidence, but something's happened to make you look to the past to make you happy rather than looking to the future. This is how you feel about YOU not how you feel about HIM.

My advice is to have a long, hard look at yourself; because whatever it is that would inspire you to look to the future with excitement - be it confidence, interests, plans - that's missing right now. Fixing that will bring you far more happiness than trying to revive your former self and resuscitate something that used to make you happy. You're a different person now. Keep on moving forwards!

*He's not spoken to you in person for 2 years and has been with his girlfriend for two years.

Don't fucking go near him.*

This.

Okay!

Thanks guys!

Guess if I do genuinely regret my decision I'll have to live with it!

If not then I guess I will be happy with someone else somewhen

Thanks

@confused23456 I think maybe you should date someone else and you'll move past what's happened