I knew about 18 months before. We owned a business. He was becoming in increasingly controlling and abusive. I wome up one morning desperate to be employed and have income that was connected to him. I pitched it to him that it meant he had more control over the business and more spare money. He went for it.
I went back to work, my confidence soared. He got more abusive and I thought I could keep going and save more. He tried to bully me into leaving my job, I refused. He came to work and created a scene to get me sacked. My boss, a huge man that you wouldn't mess with went out and scared him to death. That night, he raped me.
I spent 2 weeks trying to process it. I would sit outside the house after work trying to work up the courage to go in. He was very sorry (arent they all) he started counselling. He came home told me they were making progress and told me what he had shared with the counsellor. It was all lies. When I pointed that out he just went quiet. I think he genuinely believed what he had been telling her until I pointed out it was lies. He lied so much, he got confused between fact and fiction. I split with him that night. He moved into the spare room.
I moved to my parents a few days later. I couldnt be in the house with him. I wasnt safe. I took the kids and went.
2 weeks later my best friend arranged a night out. I went to her house to get the taxi. First time I had ever been in her house as exh hated her. I met her brother and we chatted when he smiled, my stomach dropped. I had never had that feeling before. I didn't want a relationship. After the abuse, I need time. For 18 months we skirted around it, became very good friends. I had counselling. Enjoyed being single. Then we got together.
I am now sat I'm the candle lit bath he ran me because I had a big day at work.
Leaving exh was the best thing I ever did. I have never regretted it for a second.