Where do I stand with the house?

[crumble82]

So DH and I have been married 10 years and have 2 DC. We bought our house 7 years ago, DH had a decent inheritance and paid £100k as the deposit, since then I have paid about half the mortgage and household bills etc, with the exception of the 2 years I was on mat leave.

Things have been bad for a while but came to a head this evening, DH had his finger in my face and told me it was ‘HIS HOUSE’ and he doesn’t need me, I’m a cunt etc. I told him it was out house but if he wanted to play that game then I would happily fight it. Where am I likely to stand with the house?

For all his faults as a husband he is a decent father and I would want him to have the DC at least once a week. Not sure if that is relevant to who gets the house.

If you're married the house is a marital asset so it doesn't matter who paid what. You could go to mediation to discuss it and come to an agreement before courts etc get involved

Thank you. I’d want to go 50/50 on it, imwould the courts take into account that he paid the deposit? I’m worried I’m going to lose everything

No, the courts wouldn't take into account who paid the deposit. The previous poster is correct, it is a marital asset. So he can take his talk of "his house" and stick it where the sun don't shine. for you at this tough time and well done for not tolerating being spoken to like that.

He sounds like my STBXP. It took ages to leave him because he threatened to take the house, 'his' kids etc. Realised he was really abusive. We aren't married and I sought legal advice. Despite being in a vulnerable financial position, I am entitled to half of this house as my name is on the deeds. As a married couple, you have far more rights over marital assets. Go and have a free or cheap initial consultation with a solicitor. I am having to agree to 50/50 childcare because of his demands, but I am getting stronger with everything else. You can do this!

I'm in a similar position except it was me putting the lions share in. It is a marital asset if bought when you were married aa he has put his inheritance into the pot so to speak. However, my solicitor said I could argue that stbxh had financially benefited from "my" contribution because it meant we had smaller mortgage etc. so I would probably be awarded more of the profits when we sell, e.g. 30 - 70 split. Not sure how it works in terms of someone "getting" the house. I don't think you will lose everything but I also don't think either of you will get the house unless one buys the other out.

As you say, he also needs a decent place for DC to stay.

I’m so disappointed in him. We’ve had a lovely evening out with the DC, come home and he has got drunk (the root of all our problems), left me to put both the children to bed and tidy the house. When I pulled him up on not doing any tidying despite having been at home alone since 3 he told me it was my job because I only work 4 days/week. He just makes me so angry but there’s no point rising to it because he always picks fights when he’s drunk. I’m at the end of my tether now.

See a solicitor.

My understanding is that if he didn't set up a Deed of Trust when he put his inheritance in, then it's a 50/50 split. But IANAL, nor do I play one on TV.

I am a lawyer but you have not provided enough financial information for anyone to be able to advise.

I would think if you had to sell the house it’d be 50/50, but if it went to court you could argue you’ll never be able to afford a mortgage in the future and they may say you can stay in the house until your youngest child is 18, that’s what I would’ve got but my ex bought me out instead. If he had done something ie affair then you might have got 70/30 but as it’s not then I don’t think you will. As for being drunk think about if he will safely be able to pick kids up and drop off early morning to school.

Thanks 247mummsy, the safety aspects of the drinking are why I haven’t divorced him yet. The DC have never really seen him drunk but I hate the thought of them needing help in the night and him not being able to give it. Also like you say the risk that he will drink drive with them. At least if we stay together I can protect the DC.