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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Partner and ex girlfriend

29 replies

Blueflower22 · 06/03/2019 15:48

Please advise me ladies.

My boyfriend of two years has recently started talking to his ex a lot more regularly (every day or every other day). I don't feel comfortable with this as I read messages from when they were together about three years ago saying how much they loved eachother but couldn't be together because the lady was getting married to someone else as an arranged marriage.

Me and my boyfriend are planning to marry soon and his friend is marrying soon as well.

I understand that he might want to keep in touch with her every now and again but I don't understand what is the need for everyday. I'm not sure what they talk about in there conversations and I don't understand why she needs to talk to him everyday and send him selfies and I think he is sending them as well - on Snapchat

I'm not sure how to approach this with him as he knows I am unhappy but keeps saying that they are just friends. It has got to the point where I feel upset that he is overly needy of her and can't just have normal male friendships or normal female ones where the ladies are not his ex's. I don't
Want to upset him or make him feel that I don't trust him. I trust that he won't cheat on me but I don't want her to play an emotional game on him or him to be too emotionally reliant on her because I feel like that is my purpose - and the the purpose of being in a relationship

OP posts:
Blueflower22 · 07/03/2019 01:08

Another reason why I'm questioning whether I'm overthinking is because last summer he had a female work colleague who was texting him every now and again but privately messaging him on the work laptop everyday. When I joined his workplace to work there for a few months I realised that there was nothing going on. For this reason I haven't spoken to him about thiis situation with his ex because I worry that I'm overthinking but at the same time I'm worried I'm correct

OP posts:
MsDogLady · 07/03/2019 02:13

The work colleague wasn’t a former girlfriend that he loved but couldn’t marry.

Scorpvenus1 · 15/03/2019 16:55

Yea I agree

I know it will hurt to get rid but it will hurt more when he cheats or whatever, sounds to me the ex is always on his mind and the body usually follows where the mind is at kinda thing.

I feel so sorry for you I would definitely dump my partner if he did this, I allow most things even porn, but no chatty chatty to women, or get walking lol. :D

Hanab · 18/03/2019 21:33

Kinda old post but my 2c is simple .. he needs to block her and stop contact if not than you need to move on ...

Out of curiosity does/did he call text snapchat sends selfies to you? Everyday or EOD?

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