When to tell new man about health issues?

[MIA12]

I’ve recently started dating, mostly meeting online. I’ve got a second date with a man tomorrow and although I’m looking forward to it I’m also fretting about when to tell him about my health issues.

I don’t want to lie by omission but I’m a very private person too. He knows I’ve had some problems with my health as I’ve recently had an operation that I’ve told him about. The condition I have (M.E.) can be quite misunderstood and I also want to put my best foot forward and be taken for who I am, not seen as the woman with M.E.

Even if things don’t work out with him, when is the right time to tell future dates?

Maybe give it a couple of weeks? So you can assess the relationship a bit better first.

Thanks Blue it’s a really tricky situation

I would let it unfold naturally with that. No need for full disclosure from the off surely...

Just mention casually that it’s something you’ve had for a while, be vague then take it from there. It’s not a job interview!

Have a lovely date!

I would wait until you have established whether you are dating casually or seriously. If it’s clear that you are serious dating then it would be wrong not to disclose.

Your health is a personal and private matter so you are under no obligation to tell someone until you trust them to hold that information in the way you would wish it to be held - in confidence if that matters to you and not in a way that they use to abuse you or take advantage of you.

You won't be in a position to tell ( about anyone) until you know them a bit better.

I'd just see how it goes and if it arises naturally then say if you are happy to.

Thank you for the replies. Good point about it not being a job interview Latent and I’ll get to know people a bit better as you’ve suggested TellIt

How much does it impact on your day to day life? Does it limit or restrict what you can do to a significant extent? Is it likely to become very noticeable (i.e. you may have to cancel dates last minute because you are unwell)?

Or perhaps turn it around: if somebody you were dating had a health condition that would potentially impact on your life together if you started a relationship (something which meant they got tired easily and had to keep a fairly sedentary lifestyle; something which meant they might potentially rely on you as a carer one day) would it potentially be something you’d have to weigh up and therefore would you want them to tell you before you started developing an attachment to them? If you’d like to know very early on then I’d say you should do likewise.