Don't know where to start

[Jamill]

So after 15 years together and 10 years of marriage my husband has said it is over, he isn't in love with me anymore.

Things haven't been great for a while but and 2 weeks ago he wanted to fix things but now he has said it is too late and he doesn't feel like that about me anymore.

Due to finances he is still at home and acts completely normal in front of the kids, i am heartbroken and struggling to cope if I'm honest. Haven't got out of bed today and phoned in sick all week.

How do people manage to get through this, i don't even know where to start.

Not having a good day today!

I just keep hoping he will come running home and say he has made a massive mistake but he isn't going to. It doesn't seem to even be bothering him, doesn't seem upset or scared. While i can't even function. I have dreams constantly where we get back together and that doesn't help.

Just feel a bit lost today, unfortunately there is no way round him leaving at the moment, this is the hardest thing i have ever done, i find I'm ok and then the panic sets in and i don't think i can or want to do this.

I completely know and understand that feeing. Just breathe, try and eat something. Start doing some research on mediation places near you.. Something constructive x

He said last night that i needed to get some self respect and maybe he is right.

That's such a cruel thing to say to you, when he's just broken his marriage vows.

The reason he said it was probably because your raw grief was making him feel guilty and uncomfortable. Absolute dick move, though.

The good news is, you will get your self respect back. Bags of it, more than you had to start with actually as you'll get through this and make a success of your life and you will have done it all by yourself. You will feel a confidence in yourself that you've never felt before. And you will have a core inside you after this that nobody can take away.

And he will see your self respect, and he will see how far you come, and how well you handle this, and how happy you become. And he'll wonder if he made the right decision, and it'll be too late, and he'll kick himself.

I promise.

I really hope you're right MollysLips.

I just really miss him and its awful! I need to get a grip today and crack on.

Angrybird123 eating is a real problem at the moment, just such a struggle but i need to make myself.

I can remember just forgetting to eat for the first time. That never happened to me before in my life. And when people told me to (including my ex, with faux concern, dickhead) it just felt like I couldn't chew. I think. I lived on cup a soups for a few weeks and lost a stone. Its surreal but it doesn't last, I promise and I agree with the pp that you will come out the other side. You sound like you have a strong, professional life and can be financially independent so you have nothing to be scared of.

It is exactly like i can't chew! Very strange. I lost 3 stone last year out of choice and for the first time in my life ever i don't actually want to lose more! I feel like i look really tired so weight loss will make me look worse.

I have quite a stressful job so not looking forward to going back next week but maybe its what i need. Not on great money but i should be able to get by once we have sorted a few things and keep up kids activities etc. Can i just skip to the other end now???

Its the last thing i want right now but i do worry no one will want me now.

Ask him how he wants to go about arranging the 50/50 custody, taking weeks in turn or splitting the week? He has obviously got visions of sailing off living the bachelor life and ditching his responsibilities on you. You need to throw a bucket of water over that and start pondering what you'll do with your time while he has them. Get angry and don't let him walk over you. Show him that you're moving on and planning for life without him, and that the picture includes him doing his fair 50% of parenting.

Rainycloudyday i will def do that! Dreading time with out the dc, will be so quiet without them, luckilly i have good friends so will always be able to arrange something and summer will be better.

How are you doing Jamill?