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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My husband doesnt love me anymore

3 replies

Dakotaipsum · 05/03/2019 17:19

My husband and I have been married for 2 years now. We‘ve always had a healthy and happy relationship. About 1 year ago we moved to another country and even though we‘ve had our ups and downs, we‘re still pretty happy or so I thought. My husband has a somewhat tragic family background and he‘s used to supressing his emotions and to working by himself without support or help from other people. He‘s opended up to me in an amazing way which I really appreciate. For us to stay in this new country, my husband needs to take an exam. He only has 3 chances and he already failed the 1st one. This scenario made him depressed and really stressed. This year he‘ll be taking the 2nd exam and lately I‘ve been noticing that his stress level has skyrocketed. Yesterday I sat him down and told him that I have noticed a change in his behaviourand and asked him if everything was ok. Long story short... after some hours of talking, he told me that he just didn‘t love me anymore. I was devastated, still am, and he keeps telling me that he feels like I have given myself entirely to him and that I care about him more than I do about myself, which is true, and that he thinks I deserve someone that can love me like I love him. He says that what he‘s most afraid of in this world is loosing me because I‘m everything he‘s always wanted. I suggested Couples Therapy and he seems to be up for it.
Any advice?

OP posts:
Fidgety31 · 05/03/2019 20:43

Sounds like he is feeling low in mood and worthless and is going to try and push you away before you can reject him.
The whole move hinges on how passing an exam- that’s an awful lot of pressure for anyone to shoulder.

RupertStJohnPoo · 05/03/2019 20:46

I’m not a medic but could he be depressed? I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this. Very stressful situation.

Dakotaipsum · 05/03/2019 21:10

Thanks for both your answers!
He keeps telling me that he feels like a monster, and not worthy of my love and time... I do my best to be completly supportive of everything he does, to keep a positive enviroment at home and on letting him know that i‘m willing to do everything it takes to make it work between us.
He‘s definitely depressed and in past situations I‘ve suggested therapy but he‘s always been a little bit it against it, until now. I really want to help him but don‘t want to make him feel overwhelmed.

OP posts:
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