Anyone else has this re sex before?

[Nobodyelsewillbethere]

Hello all, just looking for a bit of advice. I'm in a new relationship (3 months). It's going brilliantly, he's amazing and we are really enjoying it.

The only fly in the ointment seems to be an issue he had with sex. If there is anyone around e.g. my adult son or my bf housemates, he just can not relax and we can't have sex. He will get hard but he can't finish It's not that either of us is loud or anything but he just can't cope with it. I'm finding it frustrating tbh as we only see each other at weekends. It's my day off today and he is coming over but has pissed around with sorting his mortgage (he's buying his own place thank goodness!) and hasn't arrived yet. My son will be back from college soon so, there we go, sex is off the cards. It is driving me a bit mental.

Anyone else have experience of this? It's early days and I am very attracted to him and want it a lot but this is marring the relationship a little bit tbh. We were having sex on Sunday night and we had to stop because he was freaked out because he heard his housemate in the room above. I rolled my eyes a bit and he snapped at me and said I should be more understanding. He's right isn't he? AIBU?

We have a block of wood to jam our bedroom door shut when dtd!!
Invest in a door stop!

Surely your adult son is out quite a lot? Would background music help? I can see why you're frustrated but I can also imagine it's tricky to just get over something like that if you find it off putting.

I can understand how he feels if your son is around especially as it is early days. If you are together in your bedroom it’s obvious what you are up to and he might not be able to relax. It’s not as if you are living together.

I can see both points of view. But FAR more yours! As long as no one can hear us, I don’t really care about hearing them 🤷🏻‍♀️ Maybe see how things go when he has his own place and you’re not so limited in ‘quiet’ opportunities.

He can aleast ‘sort you out’ if you’re not bothered about the noise 😊

Neither my DS or his housemates would EVER come in our rooms but it's the fact that they are there that is putting him off

When we are away there are no issues whatsoever. It's great! But we can't go away all the time can we!!

I honestly can't wait for him to get his own place. But it's going to be two months at the minimum. I'm even thinking about suggesting going out in the car tonight!

I'm peri menopausal, my sex drive is through the roof. Might be causing the irrationality

But he can’t help it. If he could snap out of it then surely he would. Maybe try supporting him and chilling out.

I would say plenty of people wouldn't want to be heard having sex and think hes justified to feel that way. He might not enjoy an audience, might want to be respectful to those in the house.

I mean, even if not loud, in your average 3 bed uk house you can usually deffo hear someone shagging, however quiet. Hes maybe mindful of how it can make others feel too. Its not the end of the world to be heard but could easily be offputting, yeah. I wouldn't want to hear my mum shagging her new boyfriend. I am not prudish, know sex is natural, normal but still.

No and I completely get it about my son. That is fair enough and I wouldn't want him to hear us.

But his housemates are on different floors. I guess IABU.

Maybe he has been caught previously? Literally!
Cheap hotels???
Sex is always better in a hotel ime!!

You can tell him that YOU aren’t bothered so he can continue sorting you out even if he doesn’t want to finish.

You can go away a few times in a couple of months and ask when the room mates are going to be out 🤣

Then yes, there’s the car! Just watch out for cctv. It’s every where these days, I’m glad it was pretty much nowhere when I was a teen!! We had lots of ‘fun’ outside anywhere & everywhere (I lived in a much warmer country!!)

Travel lodge OP? But then again, someone could be walking down the corridor and that could put him off and it's back to the status quo.

He's being decent in my view and I totally, totally understand your frustration. How about giving your son a few quid to hangout for a bit? Gives you and your man some time to dtd

We have just managed to get one in before DS got home , no issues whatsoever, it's so weird! He's just really sensitive and decent (more than me!) Didn't expect it from someone 9 years younger than me!

It's a good thing. I need to focus on that.

Phew finally you minx! 🤣

My partner cant relax if we have friends staying or are at our respective parents house and we’ve been together decades!

So fair enough