I'll be honest here, I've recently stopped having an emotional affair with another man. I looked deep inwards to figure out why I felt that I needed to look elsewhere outside of my relationship, and on top of my depression and the general sense of boredom in life, I realise that I wasn't attracted to DP anymore and had no interest in sex with him. His appearance hasn't changed, but there was something about him that was putting me off. I realised that a part of it was just feeling like a body with holes in it to him; he was constantly groping me, telling me how hot I am etc. Which in normal levels can be quite flattering, but it started to feel like I was a sex doll. Then I was waking up at night to him having sex with me, if I told him to stop he did. But this was happening at least once a week. I told him I didn't like it and found it creepy. He said he starts doing it in his sleep and he doesn't even realise he's doing it until he wakes up halfway through (I do believe this because he has sleep-walked on occasion, and he does sometimes speak quite vulgar in his sleep i.e. "I want to fuck you " etc and has no recollection when he wakes up), when he wakes up he's halfway through and assumes that I'm OK with it because I haven't told him to stop. Problem is, I have on occasion been so tired I've just slept through and not realised he's had sex with me. Now, to me, that's not on and it's completely disgusting. I woke up once about 6 months ago to physical evidence of having had sex but no recollection of doing so, and when I asked him if we had sex that night he said he woke up having sex with me and assumed I was conscious at the time but then when I asked did I say anything, he said no, come to think of it I was quite quiet. I said did that not alert you to the fact that I wasn't conscious? and he said hmm I suppose it should have. And I made him swear he wouldn't do it again. I can't say I've had that scenario again where I've been completely unaware but he does still get quite sexual in the night time, and actually these days I don't mind it if I'm in the mood. But I can't get past the thought that I was basically raped that night. We've overcome a lot of our differences and I'm happier, and building a solid relationship again, I've stopped interacting with OM and my DP is aware I had feelings for another man. But there is still a part of me that can't shake the uncomfortable feeling I get that 6 months ago he had sex with me when I was completely unconscious and I only found out the next day because of the physical evidence and I had to question him about it.