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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice needed

2 replies

Tink0084 · 04/03/2019 16:26

Hey all, I'm new to Mumsnet and decided to join as I needed some advice. Few years ago me and my partner met each other, he wasn't in a too good of a situation at the time whereas I was, I had a place to call my home I had a good job (or what I consider a good job) I was single and happy enjoying life. We got together I supported him through one of the worse times in his life moved him in with me he lived rent free for a year he contributed towards food etc where he could, I did all the running around doing 8mile school runs for his son to go school and taking him to job interviews and work etc, as his family didn't really support him and all the people he had called friends were nowhere to be seen. Long story short few years on and hes got a good job and also passed his driving test and built his confidence back up which i couldn't be more happier about, but now he's saying comments like I've got no ambition and he's a manager and earns this much a year and how that's brilliant for his age (fair enough he's done well and he's proud of himself as am I) and why don't I want to be a manager at my work (no thanks don't get paid enough for the job I do now and I don't plan on staying with the company I work for for much longer) but just this whole thinks he's better than me attitude is really grating on me I actually feel like I don't want to be with someone that thinks I've no goals or dreams or ambitions, It feels abit like his attitude is thanks for helping me bring me back to me I don't really need you sorta thing, if you get what I mean? Would anyone else be hurt by thier partner saying this? Sorry tried to keep it short as possible xx

OP posts:
MMmomDD · 04/03/2019 16:37

OP - you stoped making sense to me in the early stages of your relationship....
What was so special in that basket case of a man that you felt the need to save him? Why so desperate?
He - used you for free lodging, transportation and childcare. Now he doesn’t need you - so true colours are coming out.
It’s not difficult to understand.

Move on and don’t save strays.
It’s one thing when you are in a relationship and your partner falls on hard times. In that situation one KNOWS the other person, and can’t be used so plainly.

Sorry. Just move on.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 04/03/2019 17:07

Yes. He basically used you when he was struggling, and now he's doing well, he's showing you what he really thinks of you.

Doesn't sound like a very nice person to be honest.

I'd get rid and be extremely wary of trying to 'fix' people in the future.

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