Me and my DP have been together for nearly 3 years, we were both married before, both with the previous partners for about 16 and 17 years. We have 2 children each, and not living together yet, but we are planning a move soon. It was delayed due to both of us not being divorced yet, I got mine last year his should be completed at anytime now.
We love each other so much, and we are such a great match, children get along together most of the time, and families and friends are all happy to see us so happy and in love.
He is such a wonderful man, no one is perfect, but we are just perfect for each other.
I keep comparing myself to his ex wife, and end up in a dark place when I think of him with another woman, I do realise it is silly and stupid, but I can't help it sometimes, knowing he chose her to be his wife and have children together.....all of the things no one could change...and yes I was with another man and had children with him....
He made it clear he does not want more children, I agree with him, and to be honest with myself, I do not think it is sensible to have another child, but the idea that we will not have one together makes me sad...
Marriage....initially he said he doesn't want to be married again, and I was feeling the same, we were both just out of the marriages, and couldn't think new ones! but when we started spending many nights together, travelling, spending family occasions and so on...I realised I want to be married to this man, he did say a few months ago, it is not completely out of the question, and he might change his mind, we don't discuss marriage at all, this was after a conversation about families and expectations.
Marriage for me is not just a piece of paper, and I realised it is important to me. I will not leave him if he does not want it, but I would be happier if he does, I am sure I will get over it at some stage.
If you think of the financial side, I once made a point about another couple, that when there is children there should be a pre nup, I wanted him to know that this is what I would do, indirectly, as he earns far more than me.
I want him to know how I feel, but too scared of sharing this, I do not want to pressure him, but want him to know, and if he knows he might actually start wanting it himself...Do I tell him? do I explain clearly I am happy with a pre nup? do I say I understand his position but just want him to know how I feel...Or do I just leave it to him, when he is ready, if he ever is...