Hi I really need advice as I'm completely at a loss of what to do.
I fell pregnant at 22 with someone I'd been with for a really short time and now fast forward 4 years we are still together with a 3 year old I'm not sure this relationship is truly what I want, however I have next to no confidence and my partner has a large family whilst I have only have a small support network of my mum, sister some friends (only one has a child so I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to about things like this) and a dad who I see very rarely, so I'm terrified my life would be a constant battle with my partners family vs me by myself and that I couldn't offer my daughter the same network of aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins that my daughters dad can offer her and that she might grow to love me less or would rather spend time with him and his family if I was to split from my partner.
I just feel like we want completely different things. My partner is very pushy about wanting to involve my dad in our lives and have 'one big family' and constantly have extended family such as grandparents and aunts around however I've had so little to do with my dad throughout my life that our meetings are awkward and sometimes very uncomfortable and the whole thing can make me feel very on edge and anxious, and It's just not something I want to do even though I still have regular contact with my dad. On the other hand it makes me sad my partner never seems to want to do anything with just me and our daughter and always wants his extended family to be involved so I just feel like we don't get much proper family time between the three of us.
My relationship with my partner no longer makes me feel secure and my confidence is at an all time low. My partner is extremely selfish with his time and doesn't do much to help me out with our daughter. Whenever I try and talk to him about this he's more interested in his phone than me or will shoot me down very quickly and makes me feel silly. He no longer does the little bits to show he cares and I didn't even get a card for Valentine's Day.I just don't feel like I have any emotional support and I'm scared if I leave him I'll spend the next decade of my life fighting with him which I don't have the energy to do. Please tell me there's a light at the end of the tunnel, I feel so naive for not realising just how complicated relationships become when you have a child and live together and most of my friends aren't at this point of their lives yet so I just don't feel like I've got anyone to talk to who won't judge me for feeling like this and I'm just feeling really scared and trapped :(