Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Was this rape?

13 replies

Anon4010 · 03/03/2019 22:29

Last night me and my partner had been out drinking, we got in at around 4am. He’d been in an aggressive mood all night because he cannot tolerate alcohol.. not even a bit. He’s not an alcoholic or anything just whenever he has a drink which is not often, he gets very aggressive and standoffish. He ended up assaulting this bloke in the middle of the nightclub so I took him out. Anyway.. we get home and have sex, I consented..if anything I instigated it but I fell asleep after he cummed. I woke up in a bit of a daze and all hazey because I was still drunk and I remember feeling baby oil being poured all over me and he had his phone light on and was watching his penis going in and out and watching his fingers go in me etc. I kept stirring and I asked him what are you doing and he said “you asked me to do it” -I didn’t I know I didn’t. He’s never done anything like that before and we both was realllllly horny when we come home. We have been together 4 years and have a child together but I couldn’t help but find it a bit weird that he deliberately had his flashlight on so he could see him doing it whilst I was sleeping.

OP posts:
maximumcarnage · 03/03/2019 22:33

Yes it is. A sexual act without consent. I’d be concerned, deeply concerned if this had happened before and if it would happen again. Depending on your feelings and perspective will determine what you do next. Discussions. Counselling. Police. Leave him. How do you feel about it?

Anon4010 · 03/03/2019 22:42

I don’t know how I feel about it. I would just rather know the truth and move on but this morning he was quick to say he doesn’t remember anything since after we had sex the first time. After that he don’t remember which is a bit suspicious? I don’t know, I wouldn’t like to label him as someone who sexually assaulted me but it’s just not sitting right with me

OP posts:
TokyoSushi · 03/03/2019 22:43

Awful. How is he usually? The aggressive mood and the almost assaulting somebody doesn't sound great either...

Magicstar1 · 03/03/2019 22:46

I’m sorry OP but I’d be checking his phone. There’s a huge trend in porn for men to film exactly what you’ve said happened.

Anon4010 · 03/03/2019 22:48

Id like to think this wasn’t the case and he is just as innocent as I was and genuinely didn’t think anything of it...I’ve been with him since I was 16, I lost my virginity to him and never slept with anyone else..it would crush me if we was to end over this but I’m in two minds because it feels wrong?

And to answer your question about how is he usually, honestly he is 99% a lovely man, he’s a great dad... he’s a bit arrogant and big headed but I love that about him because he’s funny.. he wouldn’t dream of doing that sober x

OP posts:
Anon4010 · 03/03/2019 22:50

I did check his phone straight after to see if he’s videod it. Once I’d properly woken up as he was still inside me, he rolled over and fell asleep. So I took his phone and looked a at everything , there was nothing on there x

OP posts:
PrestonsFlowers · 03/03/2019 22:51

Name change fail

Anon4010 · 03/03/2019 22:52

How do I change my name on the post???

OP posts:
NotTheFordType · 03/03/2019 23:26

You need to hit "Report post" and beg MN to remove it.

NotTheFordType · 03/03/2019 23:27

And yes, if you weren't capable of consenting (by either being too drunk or asleep) then it was rape. I'm sorry OP.

Samind · 03/03/2019 23:30

I would agree. Plus the fact you woke to him doing this suggests you weren't conscious to give consent in the first place Confused

MIA12 · 03/03/2019 23:33

Yes it is rape. I’m sorry he has done this OP Flowers

siestakey · 03/03/2019 23:54

100% rape and I would have to leave my partner if they did that. (Thankfully he's always respected me). How scary for you OP. I really hope you're okay and have someone in real life to help you. ❤️

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread