Feeling bad about date incident

[PookieDo]

This is not very serious but it I’m feeling bad and don’t know what to say to the guy involved.

Started chatting to guy online I vaguely have met before through friends but don’t know well. Agreed to a date this weekend but the ‘few drinks’ I agreed to local to me turned into him planning a huge piss up night out involving taxis to another town.

Prior to the date on the day I just got this feeling it was not for me. I don’t think he’s my type and I just lost the energy to go and had no excitement about it, feeling tired and not interested in going out drinking for hours. I text him in the middle of the day to say I was really sorry but something had come up.

I am not sure I was very clear to him because he still turned up to our agreed meeting point, spent all night there - texting and calling me saying he was concerned about me. I didn’t answer the texts as I realised to him, I had stood him up and by the time he started calling me (very late) I was asleep.

Despite this, he still wants to arrange another date! I haven’t responded to that except to say I was sorry I thought he understood I had something else unexpected come up.

I don’t even know what to say. I wouldn’t ever lose my dignity and do this in reverse to a guy and would take the hint. On the one hand it’s nice he’s keen and attentive but is it a bit OTT? Am I just horrible?

You have to be honest! The poor guy is confused.

You don't owe him anything but being polite. If you don't want a date with him, just politely say you have changed your mind and don't want to go on a date.

Going out with this guy isn’t an obligation. You’re entitled to date whichever man you please. Just be honest with him. It’ll save you being forced to make up ridiculous excuses and free up both your time to meet someone better suited.

Maybe more of a doormat than keen & attentive?
Since when was a massive piss up a good plan for a first date? And he overrode what you had planned.

Id listen to your feelings (or lack of)and steer well clear.

The piss up totally put me off TBH. I think he was trying to impress me taking me somewhere nicer than a local pub but it was when it turned into the drinking session I got cold feet. I would have been stuck there if it wasn’t a good date as taxis aren’t the easiest thing to get where we were planning to go and you have to book them in advance

I will just have to tell him the truth. Which I hate doing 😂

This was to be a first date, right? So it was all kinds of wrong of him to over-rule your preferred simple drink in local pub, making it into an evening involving complex travel arrangements. Start to feel angry with him, that will make it easier to say 'I've changed my mind, I don't want to meet up with someone who tries to steamroller over my wishes after all.

Getting drunk on your first date and a distance from your home is a terrible idea. Glad you cancelled it. He wasn't confused, he just tried to guilt-trip you into turning up, despite cancelling. If you don't want to deal with him then just block him, you owe him nothing. Why do we women always have to be so nice to dickheads?

but it was when it turned into the drinking session I got cold feet.
I think you should try to be more assertive and clear with men you are dating. At the point he mentioned lots of drinks in another city, your instict should have been to say no. But you half-heartedly agreed?
I'd just be clearer about your expectations in future.

Ugh. A date to go out partying? Nah.
You should have told him it's not your scene though. I suppose he may have been trying to impress you.
It doesn't necessarily mean you have to bin him off if you like him. He might even be relieved