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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Did you ever get with your crush?

28 replies

Bombon99 · 03/03/2019 20:54

I’m crushing hard on a guy I work with. I’m very shy and am trying to give him some signals that I’m interested but he’s shy too. This has been going on for far too long now and I’m considering giving up. Please can you tell me your happy stories of fancying someone for at least a few months and then getting together with them? I need some hope. Thank you.

OP posts:
GertrudeCB · 03/03/2019 20:56

Yes, I worked with an older guy who I fancied the pants off.
28 years and 2 DC Wink

Fl0w3r · 03/03/2019 20:57

I did, with a guy I worked with. I had been crushing on him for over half a year.

We had around 6 months together as FWB as it wouldn't have worked as a relationship.

Elephantina · 03/03/2019 21:00

Er, yes. I fell fast and hard for someone who could never be mine, so I simply dreamt of him and pined for a number of months. He was such a perfect match for me that I couldn't believe my bad luck.

But my luck changed, and we've just had our 16th wedding anniversary.

Kaleela · 03/03/2019 21:36

I did! It was an inappropriate time when the crush started so I disconnected for a bit. About a year later I messaged him and the rest is history :) have been together 6 years 😍

Summerhillsquare · 03/03/2019 21:39

Yes, I discretely drooled over him for 6 months, then jumped him at a BBQ. He reciprocated and we were together for years.

Bombon99 · 03/03/2019 23:41

You’re all amazing and have given me a real boost. Thank you.

Elephantina I would love to hear more about how your luck changed... any words of wisdom to impart or hints/tips?? Thanks.

OP posts:
LettuceP · 03/03/2019 23:46

Yes. I still remember being introduced to him on my first day at work and thinking "hmm he's a bit of alright" Grin
We've been together for 11 years, married for nearly 5 and have 2 dc.

LettuceP · 03/03/2019 23:48

BTW we flirted for about 4 months and then eventually got forced into a date by colleagues. Still very grateful to them.

RedHatsDoNotSuitMe · 03/03/2019 23:50

Yup. Married 23 years.

ClosestThingToCrazy · 03/03/2019 23:52

No. I was coming to the end of a relationship and I didn't know if she felt the same. She then met someone else and we drifted.

NewMe2019 · 03/03/2019 23:56

Yes. Someone was doing some work for me. I had a mega crush on him. We kept in touch after work was finished and after talking online, turned out the feeling was mutual. We are together now. Early days but it feels very right.

Elephantina · 04/03/2019 06:12

Not really @Bombon - I kept a respectful distance as he was with somebody else at the time. But we had to work together and although I must say he was very loyal to his then partner, it became obvious (through some of our conversations) that he was unhappy. He never spoke badly of her, he just used to shyly ask me what my opinion was on certain aspects of a relationship. I listened and gave him my honest views, but tried to avoid being critical of his nightmare gf. I know, watch out for my burning halo...inside I was screaming you horrible witch but I never said it!

One day he told me that they had split - he had moved out of their home one weekend, and arranged to rent a room from a mate. It took a few weeks (a bloody lifetime, I wasn't going to ask him) but he eventually asked me out on a date and I said yes.

We moved in together six months later (20 years ago) and got married 16 years ago. We have our moments of course but I was right about him, he's my favourite person.

Mints567 · 04/03/2019 07:28

Are you both single, is one or both of you with partners? Relationships in the workplace may seem appealing during the crush phase, its important to remember these do not work out most the time and can also have impact you should things not go well in terms of carrying on in the same job and working with same collegues.

theothermum · 04/03/2019 07:54

I walked into a new office just as a guy was unpacking his stuff at one of the desks. 'I'll have him' I thought (stupidly). I had a crush on him for months. We eventually got together. He was shit in bed and turned out to be an abusive, nasty individual once the masks were off. The 'relationship' lasted three months Grin

crochetmonkey74 · 04/03/2019 08:49

Yes, my DP. Work crush, like Elephantina he was unavailable so lots of pining, growing friendship. He became available and now it's marvellous.

He's my favourite person as well

OP is there any way you can be a bit more bold and move to another stage like eating lunch together or something like that?

squee123 · 04/03/2019 08:58

yes. We were both too sensible to do anything about it until we got horribly drunk and hooked up at a work conference. We've been married 7 years now.

Ilovepinkroses · 04/03/2019 09:15

Nice to know the office affair has not gone out of fashion.

Plahster · 04/03/2019 09:30

theothermum do we have the same ex? 🤣😉

Sadly, I married mine. Freedom is my happily ever after. 🎉

ImMeantToBeWorking · 04/03/2019 10:42

I was crushing on a guy in work for awhile. Always flirting but nothing ever happened until we were out one night for drinks, that was four years ago and we are now TTC.

Maybe ask him out for coffee at break time and see how it goes from there?

Stinkytoe · 04/03/2019 10:43

I had the biggest crush on my now DH.

Ribbonsonabox · 04/03/2019 10:43

Yes. Married for 5 years with two kids now! Had a hopeless crush on him for ten years!!! Before we got together.

stitchwitch84 · 04/03/2019 11:22

Known my DH for 5 1/2 years - he was my vicar and we were just friends (so I thought) but deep down I had the biggest crush on him. I openly admitted that I love him but this is the church, it's fine to say you love people, right?? I mean, Jesus did!

Anyway, fast forward to last April, we'd been spending a lot more time together and all of a sudden, one afternoon round at the vicarage, he remarked that we'd become very close and what were we going to do about it? Do about it, I asked? And then he proposed!

Married now, and I've never been happier - and nor has he 😊

Mints567 · 04/03/2019 11:27

I was having issues with my DH at the time of my workplace crush. I used my crush as a distraction despite DH doing everything to make things better for me and really doing all he could going above and beyond. I ended up destroying everything as crush didnt work out after a short spell together (crush was perfect in my delusional mind, reality was very different!!). I lost my home, lifestyle, job and most importantly the love of my life my DH. If you have a partner or DH focus your attention there, don't end up like me!! Grass is definitely not greener, be careful!

trendingorange · 04/03/2019 19:32

I had an amazing drunken snog with my long-time crush....but nothing happened after that and we lost touch.
Still crushing on them over 20 years later providing they are not as fat, bald and boring as I am now Grin

ShinyRuby · 04/03/2019 20:02

Oooh yes I did when I was at college (many years ago now.) Absolutely could not believe my luck! Had a couple of dates, I was literally walking on air. Unfortunately he turned out to be a right player & I was one of many so it was all over very quickly!