Why am I finding it so hard?

[Sleep10]

After knowing for a good while my relationship with DP wasn't equal and was over I've finally made the decision Monday it couldn't continue.
I've kept strong up until today.
Think he thought I was going snap out of it and now he knows I'm serious and doesn't seem bothered I'm finding it hard to hold my emotions in.
I don't know which way to turn for the best, things are so complicated which makes it worse.
Not sure why I'm posting really, to offload maybe, maybe a handhold.. 🌟

I think these are emotions you should be feeling. It’s important to know why you’ve decided maybe write it down somewhere it’s helps when you have doubts

You say he doesn't seem bothered but its probably just bravado. If he genuinely isn't bothered then you have definitely made the right decision here. You will have ups and downs and its going to take time. Take one day at a time. How long were you together?

Thanks for the messages.
Yeah I've wrote a list and i know things can't continue as they were. We were together nearly 18 years and have Dc together too.

Said we should talk once DC are in bed and his response why nothing more to say.
We have DC together etc 😧

Well he's technically right. If you realise the relationship is over then its best not to prolong it. I guarantee he is more bothered than he's making out. Just start getting things in order. Do you own or rent? You need to just focus on all the practicalities.

I meant talk about moving out/ children etc not us if you get me.
I don't see it but I suppose it'll make it easier with time him being this way.

Far too often I read on this site about people who end their relationship and are happy to do so, only to suddenly feel down and pine for their ex once they realise the ex isn't devastated enough, or he's getting on with it.

I'm not trying to criticise you while you're down OP, just think it's a better idea to make decisions that are led by you're own thoughts and feelings, rather than his reaction.

your* own thoughts and feelings. Bloody phone!

18 years is a lot of life together of course it’s going to be hard but you came to this decision for a reason. Now you have to accept that you’re going to grieve for the future you thought you’d have together, this is natural and he will too, he obviously lives this life too and if things were perfect you wouldn’t be doing this so maybe he’s come to realise it’s over and there’s nothing to fight for and now he’s coming to terms with it in his own way.

No there's nothing to fight for in the relationship and i don't want too either.
I know this is the right decision for everybody just wasn't expecting to feel so much emotion as I've been so strong. It's been a week since I said it was over - he was just happy to plod on like nothing had changed which obviously it has too hence yesterday's feelings i think.

I guess it's about the practicalities, like separation, who moves out, selling or not selling the house if you own it.

No stress if divorce as you aren't married. Discussing custody of the kids and agreeing child support.

Yep indeed