I HAVE HAD ENOUGH

[SpecialMamma]

I am in a relationship with an older man and I think that I am happy but there are so many issues currently.

We are moving to a bigger house so I need to earn a certain amount because I can't get on the mortgage because of bad credit and the mortgage company need to see I am earning money.

So my oh works during the day and I work from home evenings and all day over the weekends. He has sole charge of our 2 children and my stepson at this time.

We have 2 children together under 4 and my oh has a stepson who is approaching secondary school. He has 50/50 custody of his son.

We are having issues as he is resentful and angry that he needs to have the children and says he isn't having a break. He gets angry a lot and shouts and this makes me intervene.

I have tried working other shift patterns but our youngest has special needs and did not do well in childcare. I tried to work nights but this broke me as I sometimes didn't sleep for a couple of days.

He has told me I need to earn this money and its the only way I can do it with our childcare restraints but he also hates it and isn't coping well.

I am currently pregnant with our third child with HG and this is all getting too much.

I have too take my youngest to all of her therapies and appointments plus my eldest has a speech delay so he has appointments and therapies and I also need to collect his son 2/3 days a week from school, half of holidays and inset days.

My oh has a lot on, he is the main bread winner and our sleep is disturbed at night as I am sock, in pain and our youngest sometimes has bad nights if she gets ill.

My stepson hates me and it is very difficult and my oh does not discipline him, but I feel he is overly harsh with our children.

My eldest has challenging behaviour and my oh does not have the patience.

Add in dinners, budgeting, household running and trying to keep everything running I feel under an immense amount of pressure and I am considering leaving.

How will it work out financially if you leave ?

So you're a full time mum to 2.5 children, including one with additional needs. And you work evenings and all weekends. And you're pregnant. And I bet you do the majority of the housework.

Blimey! Hats of to you.

But that's really not sustainable. You're going to work yourself into the ground.

And why do you need to show earnings if you're not going to be in the mortgage (or have I misunderstood?)

Does your DH know how run off your feet you are?

Is he aware that his shortness of temper is detrimental to the kids' behaviour?

Does he know you are considering leaving?

You sound at breaking point. Something has to give, and I'd say the house is at the top of the list. Closely followed by your OH who sounds as supportive as a wet paper bag.

You are pregnant, have 2 DC, do everything in the home and on top of that he wants to work and earn money? That does not sound like a nice man, sorry. I hope things get better for you soon

If you can't afford the bigger house, you just can't afford it. It's ridiculous for him to be resentful of the hours you're working and of having to do childcare, if it's for this bigger house. Either he needs to get over himself or he needs to earn more, or moving has to be abandoned. Your situation just doesn't allow you to have this, right now.

He doesn't sound a great guy and you don't sound happy, you really need to take some time out from the treadmill that is your life, and have a good think about where this is all heading.

I'm confused about the mortgage. If you're not going to be on it, the mortgage company would not take any of your income into account!

I would definitely second the advice that you need to forget the bigger house for now. You cannot sustain this lifestyle and what will happen when the baby comes? surely you can't still continue with these hours?

You are going to make yourself ill and your OH is being worse than useless. Tell him things have to change or else.

Something has to stop here, and you need to discuss whether a bigger house right now is what you need as a family. You have enough on your plate at the moment, you poor woman.

He needs a wake up call! You shouldn't be thinking of moving at such a time, with young kids and another on the way - you'll be burnt out! So will he. It sounds stressful for you all.

I feel really guilty as I’m the reason we are moving, I hate the current house we are in. It’s too small for us and the children and we are miserable here. I don’t mind working so we can have the bigger house but mind his attitude