Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Gaslighting

4 replies

WelshAmanda · 03/03/2019 10:41

Only just come across this word and I think it applies to my current relationship. My husband and I have been together for 12 years with his ex being ever present in our lives. Even coming to work in our business for a period of time. It made me feel totally compromised and anxious. I even caught them confiding in one another about relationships.Both his with me and her with her then partner. I explained to both I was uncomfortable with the situation only to be ridiculed and made to feel I was making a fuss about nothing. Now I have discovered they have a WhatsApp group that includes my step son his ex and her sister. He did not hide it from me but when I explained it seemed odd he dismissed my feelings. I feel like I am going mad. He often contacts escorts but says he does nothing but just simply something he does. He says it is separate from our relationship. I am completely out of my depth. He keeps rationalising everything that I feel is wrong.Recently he called me a Bunny Boiler.

OP posts:
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 03/03/2019 11:02

Yes, that's gaslighting. And the contacting escorts would be enough for me to divorce him.

What are your reasons for remaining married to him?

something2say · 03/03/2019 11:13

Yes I agree with the above - he doesn't treat you as the most important woman to me, he leaves you out of things and you're feeling like shit.

I think, firstly don't expect him to agree or see it your way. You will stop feeling mad if you stop asking for him to own up. Unfortunately it may be that you need to leave him and find a better man or be alone for a while...

WelshAmanda · 03/03/2019 22:03

Poor self esteem. I am not sure why I stay.

OP posts:
MMmomDD · 03/03/2019 22:11

Ok - the bit about ex doesn’t seem that clear, especially since they have a child together. Chat with son/mom/aunt/dad is perfectly OK and doesn’t need to involve you at all.

However - escorts is a whole other thing

New posts on this thread. Refresh page