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Relationships

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New man

27 replies

pickled2019 · 03/03/2019 09:48

So I've met someone and now been seeing him 6weeks
I have a lo who's 7yrs and from the beginning I've said I need to move really slowly...he's been nothing but understanding and respectful and it's me that struggles with going slow! We see each other when we can which is weekends (my lo goes to her dad every other and my mum has her on the odd weekend night which has always been the case) and at least once in the week which has just been a quick dinner date or coffee between work.

It's young very well and I really like him

He wants to meet lo and move things forward....I'm at the point where I don't know if i should wait or not
I've always said I would wait a long time but since meeting him I've just gone with what feel right
He's suggesting we go out for the day over Easter holidays which by then would have been 3 months but just wondered what everyone did when they met someone new ?

I will add, it's not so we can see each other more or him staying over as that will be way down the line
It's so he can know me as a mum rather than a care free single person which when we are together I feel like!
Los dad is amiable and we split years ago just to also add
Just feel now was the right time to meet someone and we met online

Thanks for reading

OP posts:
RagingWhoreBag · 04/03/2019 14:04

It sounds very much like you’re just going to go ahead and do it anyway (apparently now, just to spite those who said not to!!) so what was the point of your post?!

FWIW I introduced my now DP to my kids quite quickly - we had a date booked and my babysitter let me down last minute so DP suggested taking my DCs to the cinema and watching something they’d like instead of just us. I met his shortly afterwards. This was within 3 months.

I don’t see the point of waiting a year if you’re going to fall in love, build a relationship, then introduce the kids, find out you can’t bear his parenting style or that your kids hate him and then end it.

Relationships can end at any point - your DCs will be far less affected meeting someone as a friend within a couple of months and things ending after another month or two, than if you wait a year, then introduce them as a partner, have a relationship with each other’s DCs for 6 months and then end it. You’ll be devastated, they’ll be more involved with him because it’s serious and they’ll have bonded with him and his kids because you both see a future.

If your DCs’ view of him will affect whether you continue to date him, or if his view of you as a mum will change how he sees you, best get it done sooner and then you’ll know if it’s worth pursuing.

Before I met DP I had a crush on a (single) male friend and we’d meet up with our kids for play dates etc. I then went on a date with him, so had it worked out, our kids had already met him and each other and it wasn’t weird. As it was, he was now just a friend we didn’t see any more!

If I did it again I’d prefer to just be casual and say “hey kids we’re going to meet my friend xx at the park today” and if they ask if he’s your boyfriend be casual and say you’re just getting to know each other at the moment to see if you might like to be boyfriend and girlfriend.

Lllot5 · 04/03/2019 20:01

Far too soon at least a year if not longer. 3 months is no time at all opening advent calendars 3 months ago.

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