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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

New lovely guy but can’t stop thinking about last guy

4 replies

Newb2003 · 03/03/2019 09:42

I had a few dates and an amazing couple of weeks with a guy who then decided he didn’t want a relationship (not that I even asked for one) and was happy on his own (good way to let me down gently I’m sure). He was great, said all the right things and gave me hope that it was going somewhere. And from the short time I knew him he was ‘ideal’ aka as close to perfect as any guy I’d met. Obviously I don’t know much about him due to the short time so I’m sure he wasn’t as perfect as he seemed. But i can’t stop thinking about him and what could have been and whether he’ll change his mind and start talking to me again. In my brain I KNOW this is stupid of me and it’s not gonna happen and I should get over it. So I’m trying to meet new people. Talking to a guy who is super sweet and seems cool and down to earth and I enjoy talking to but I just can’t enjoy it fully because I’m still always thinking of the other guy. Do I need to persevere and try and forget him? How???

Or do I need to take a break from dating? I feel like I should be putting myself out there since it wasn’t a long thing with the other guy but am I ruining all chances of anything going anywhere with someone new because I’m not over this guy?

OP posts:
Lovemusic33 · 03/03/2019 09:45

Take a break, no good dating if your still thinking about someone else.

loveyoutothemoon · 03/03/2019 14:05

Forget about the first one 100%

LuckyLou7 · 03/03/2019 14:08

Sounds like you are infatuated with the first man and you need to get over it. Why not contact him one last time and tell him how you feel? Perhaps when he's brutally honest and tells you there's no way he will ever want a relationship with you, you'll be able to move on and find someone else.

SlightlyMisplacedSingleDad · 03/03/2019 14:27

You sound over-invested for the amount of time you actually spent with this guy, and are projecting onto him what you wanted him to be, rarher than what he was (a guy who didn't want to be with you).

However, it's never cool to use other people to get over someone, so best hold off on the dating until you're more ready.

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