Estranged families; your stories please

[Wadingthroughshit]

Hi. I'm completely estranged from my father, I have been nearly all my life apart from a few spells when I was younger, when he'd sit in front of the TV in the house of whatever woman he was with at the time. I don't know any of that side of my family either. My mum got in a relationship with a man when I was about five who would hit and belt my brother and I and j basically lived a life of discomfort and at times fear, until I moved out at 19.
I have mental health issues due to this, complex trauma.
My mum has been with another man for nearly two years she met online, he's v.overweight, he's got a very strong accent I can barely understand and swears, so I don't like my children to be around him. Tbh, he hasn't done anything wrong to me, but I just cannot make myself like him, I do not want to be around him and unsurprisingly he doesn't want to be around me.
My mum is aloof, she has no forward thinking and is living In my uncles house with this new guy he seemingly moved in straight away. She got over £80k when the old house sold, and just spent the lot.

How can I move past this, does any have stories to share. It's putting further strain on my relationship with my mum, and my grandmother who hates any negativitity.

I don't have your story exactly but a lot of incompetent adults growing up and an absent father. Once I accepted that they were pretty useless and stopped trying to understand a wonderful thing happened: I began to live my own life and let theirs go. It has been, for the most part, great. And at times, I get sad about what happened and what might have been. I consider it to be my grief at the death of those dreams. And then I put it to one side and get back on track. In a way, I allow myself the grief, like a friend of mine has over her father who died. Mine did too, metaphorically! I am so glad to be at this point of acceptance. There is no shadow any more, no monkey in the corner. The relief is HUGE.
Good luck.

Loads of spelling mistakes and too many random commas above. Apologies, 'tis late here and am tired...:)

what did, go at your own pace and then if you feel ready, for the right reasons, perhaps you could try contact. I don't think though that you are solely to blame, there must have been actions by them that exacerbated your bad feelings.

harried thanks for sharing. I think distance and letting go would be good for me too.

yes estrangement here too.