Am I being over sensitive

[Myfirstcarwasamini]

My DP is known for being a bit thoughtless and clueless. This is his family who say this. He's a lovely kind generous person but he just doesn't think. I can't figure out in my head if this is me over reacting or not. This evening while eating our dinner he started talking about how the dogs had pooed outside. I said please not while we are eating. Cue 5 mins later our Dd lets the dogs out again and exclaims on looking outside... that's disgusting. I assumed referring to what the dogs had done outside. I said please I'm trying to eat. Dh flew off the handle telling me to more or less give it a rest, raising his voice. I can't remember exact words but I felt more upset by his tone of voice and his attitude towards me speaking to me that way in front of others. The kids noticed too and I could see Dd felt bad for promoting an outburst directed towards me. I've felt really down since. I took myself off doing chores after as I didn't want to be in the same room as him pretending nothing had happened. Now I can't sleep for it all going round in my head. Am I making a fuss?? I'm not very good at articulating my feelings in these situations and tend to feel bruised and try to get over things as if I say something it all comes out wrong. Do I need a good talking to?? Would anyone else feel the same. I'd cooked a nice dinner and just wanted to enjoy it. I'm easily put off my food.

sounds like he overreacted a bit to be fair, but obviously felt bad afterwards. Have you not spoken to him since? Is this the first time he's lost his temper with you? My wife and I have these sorts of fallouts all the time but it's certainly not something to lose sleep over in my opinion, forget about it and try and set some sleep it's not the end of the world. Make up tomorrow

Where's the bit where he felt bad afterwards?

Sounds like a disrespectful dick to me.....

Well the outburst appears to have come from a place of anger. Assuming he is not constantly angry or even frequently angry, then your comment to him made him angry.

He is allowed to be angry but not allowed to behave badly. That is a standard we should hold ourselves to but it isn’t always possible. Some of the time an outburst is allowable, but obviously some behaviour is completely unacceptable. Based on what you said the anger is disproportionate to the situation. So it goes deeper, maybe into feelings about you and/or his family. Being labelled can wear you down.

But your reaction is a bit OTT as well. More like a teenager who got told off than an adult. You don’t seem able to assimilate the hurt in the way most adults would in that situation. So it goes deeper.

You both now need some space apart to let heighten emotions subside. Then you need to talk it through. Perhaps even consider some counselling.

my mistake, I misread. thought it said he felt bad after but I see now it wasn't him

Something else is really going on here. You and he need to have an adult (if he can manage it!) conversation about your lives together and your shared vision of the future.
Have confidence in your own judgement. You know this kind of behaviour isn’t acceptable, and you have to believe that you don’t deserve such treatment. Start by putting yourself and the children’s interests first. Having to walk on eggshells isn’t healthy for anyone.