Need advice regarding my relationship

[chocolateandcocktails001]

I'm really struggling with my relationship and don't know what to do. I'be been a bit hesitant to post as I've had some really harsh comments in the past when asking for advice and I've been accused of both over and under reacting which makes me find it really difficult to see if I am being reasonable or not.
I've met my partner 2 years ago. We dated casually for 6 months but then it ended as did not want the same things. 4 months later and he approached me asking if we could get back together stating that he had really missed me and wanted us to be in a relationship. That was November 2017 so 16 months ago.
We live about half an hour away from each other. We see each other about twice a week but more n the weekend in a month that he is off work and doesn't have his kids. He works shifts and has his kids on a pattern around his shifts and I have a young child too so it's not really possible to see each other more but when we can we do. We have also in the last year begun to take stuff together with our kids but it's only been a few times. I've met them about 7 times. He sees my son nearly every time he sees me as he lives with me.
He says he wants commitment but I feel that his actions aren't demonstrating this. He is very affectionate towards me, we have a lot of contact throughout everyday texting usually on average about 50 times a day.
I visit his house frequently and have met his teenage kids. He definitely isn't in another relationship before someone suggests this.
My issues are:
I still haven't met his family and he hasn't met mine. I haven't brought it up as I'm a bit scared he will say no (although I've no reason to suggest he will)
We haven't met each other's friends. Neither of us is very spacious and we don't see friends regularly at all. Only really events such as weddings, birthdays etc. He doesn't however suggest that he wants me to meet his friends. I invited him to 2 events. The wedding he couldn't come to because of work although I feel that he didn't want to and a Christening that he didn't feel comfortable coming to because he didn't know my friends.
His kids know me but I don't think they know I'm his girlfriend. It's been almost a year since they met me and he still doesn't do anything when they are present which would suggest he's comfortable with them knowing we are in a relationship.
He never talks about the future, living together, being more part of each other's lives etc.
When I do bring it up he does say he wants commitment and that if it's right things will progress naturally.
I don't know if I'm being reasonable or not. I just imagined that by now we would be more part of each other's lives.
Oh he does tag me in posts on social media and has posted pictures of me on there (just saying this because I know someone will ask as this is seen an indicator of wanting to hide someone)
I think what's triggered this is that yesterday I asked if him and the kids wanted to do something this weekend. He's said he's busy but I feel he could have made time if he wanted to.
I am quite insecure and have a massive fear of rejection.

You've been together for over a year, so it's not unreasonable IMO to want to become a bit more serious, eg meeting his family and friends and being known as his girlfriend to his kids.

It's also not unreasonable if he doesn't want that, but he should be honest with you about how he sees things developing.

To say "if it's right things will progress naturally" sounds like a cop out to me. Things like meeting his family don't just happen by themselves! You have to organise it / make it happen. I think you should have another conversation with him about taking the next steps. If he doesn't want to that's fine, but he could at least give you an idea of when it might happen, or give you the opportunity to walk away if he feels he's not ready to progress things at all.

Not the point of the thread, but I couldn't get over the 'we text each other 50 times a day'. Is that a typo??

50 times isn't as much as it sounds lol. Say that's 25 each and will stay at 8am with a good morning and about 10/11 with a good night text. There might be double texts within that, many will just be a few words and there will be a few quick conversations.

You want to meet his friends, but have only invited him to meet yours twice in 16 months and those, to be honest, were inappropriate times to meet friends for the first time. You want to meet his family but haven't invited him to meet yours. If you want change, you have to make it, not expect him to read your mind and make the first steps.

You both have kids, there's work to consider and you say you see each other as much as you can. What exactly do you expect him to do? Magic up extra time?

You give him one days notice to see if he wants to do something and are disappointed he already has plans? Was he supposed to sit around on the off chance you wanted to meet?

If you want more integration then take a step. Invite him to meet one or two of your friends (No mass scary gatherings, just a quick drink). Ask to meet his friends. Ask to meet his kids again. They don't live with him so it's different from the situation with him seeing yours and they will obviously want to spend time alone with him.

Take baby steps rather than trying to get him to write 'the future' in stone.

I agree with PPs. Arrange for him to meet your friends and hopefully he will do the same.

I should have been clearer in regards to his plans. It was very vague and I can't see at all that it covered the whole weekend so I do think that there is time if he really wanted to. I suppose I was hoping that he would have suggested something as it's always me.
I don't think it's fair to say that I expect him to write the future in stone.

I'm not sure OP. You sound a lot like the girlfriend of an old school friend of mine. She is being kept at arm's length because he's unsure, having been hurt in the past. He has fun with her and likes her but he's settling for her for now, using his kids and busy job as an excuse.

I agree with the PP who suggested talking to him about the future, about meeting friends etc. I wouldn't let this slide for much longer.

I'm posted a few weeks ago about holidaying together. It sort of sorted itself out. I didn't suggest we went on holiday together as I wasn't sure and I didn't think it's what he wanted. I asked if I should book some time off when he's off so we can do something and he said yes and suggested we went camping all together which was nice and did ease my worries a bit. I'm thinking with summer coming up there will be more opportunities to involve each other's families. He has a lot of bbq's in summer and my parents live at the coast so we could go over there as we do like to visit the seaside during our time together.