Affair

[Mrsjones2344]

Name changed.
Is there ever an excuse? My affair is 13 month and going strong

I don't think sloppy seconds is a good analogy. I can't imagine being single and being with a married man, waiting for them to have a sliver of time for you.

But two married people, both with busy lives and other commitments, it's tricky but it's not sloppy seconds that I'm giving or getting.

It takes work, and people do it because something is missing from their primary relationships.

curious as to why the Thread OP ?

But even if both people are married doesn't mean they won't want more of the affair partner.

For example :
Dh is out of town this weekend
How you're fix?

Om : sorry can't wife / children / cat - when he's really off playing golf.

As a ow or om you're always 2nd 3rd or 4th.

Some single men prefare married women so they can opt out at any point.

'I can't do this anymore it's not fair on your dh'

And as for something missing from your relationship you're not going to find it with a married person.

There's going to be a lot missing from that relationship.

Robin....

It depends on what one is missing, no?

Of course - an affair partner isn’t a ‘pretend fantasy perfect husband’. But short of that - an affair can, and for many people does give them whatever people are missing.
In my case it’s a friendly and physical experience that I crave. Something not weighed by years resentment and criticism and over mundane things.

For whatever reason, you are having an affair, you should just tell your husband it's over and separate/divorce. Be truthful to yourself and give respect to the situation and your husband of ending it. Then both parties can move on. You married him and made a promise. You are now breaking that promise. Be fair to all involved and own up to your actions and end your marriage. You think no one will get hurt. You hurt your marriage the minute you locked lips with another person.

Troll!

Affairs happen. They always have. I had an affair with a married man, when I was married. We both separated from our spouses and have been together, very happily for 50 years. I couldn't be happier. I am also still friends with my ex who is similarly happy.

Jsku

I'm sure his wife understands.

Best of luck for the future cause when u finally find the 1 that you love with every fibre of your being I can almost guarantee that Karma will come at you thick and fast. Let's hope you partner is going to catch you out cause they always do

nonsense !

Vagabond how old are you, 105 ?

Robin

Well, in my case, my AP’s wife knows and their’s became an open marriage since discovery.
My H doesn’t know, but our relationship is on its last legs, held up by inertia and kids. It’s really hard to make that last step -

I would say there are plenty of excuses.

I would say none of them make it acceptable.

Of course - an affair partner isn’t a ‘pretend fantasy perfect husband’. But short of that - an affair can, and for many people does give them whatever people are missing.
In my case it’s a friendly and physical experience that I crave. Something not weighed by years resentment and criticism and over mundane things.

Exactly this.

Why stay married then?

So you get an itch scratched at the 'expense / pain ' of someone else ?

Not a person I'd want as a friend.

Is there ever an excuse?

In my opinion, no.
Have you ever thought that while you are choosing to add to what ever problems you have in your marriage by sleeping with someone else, your husband may be choosing to ignore the urge to do the same thing; out of respect for you and the vows you both made?

My affair is 13 month and going strong

That's a very long time to deceive someone in such a cruel way... and potentially expose them to sexual infections.
Give your husband the respect he deserves and leave him. You can move on with this new strong relationship you have without pissing all over someone else's life and feelings.

And everyone lived happily ever after. lol. No self awareness except when it comes to your own nose in front of you.

I’ve just come back to MN after several years and I can recognise a troll when I see one ... yawn

Well done.

@Robin2323

It’d be simpler if it was an itch scratching. And many people do just that. Especially in families where one of the other spouse decides that they go off sex. Or make sex a reward/punishment sort of thing....

In my case - my H had many years of hearing but not listening to things that made me unhappy; as well as in futile efforts to change and improve me. If kids weren’t around - we’d not be together right now.
But they are - and that changes everything and priorities too.

So I put kids first and stay for now. Until they are a bit older and more robust.
But at the same time - I cant totally ignore my human side that craves male interaction with someone who isn’t resenting and critisising me all the time.
So - affairs happen for a multitude of reasons. And don’t really need an excuse. Understanding, maybe

Currently suffering the brunt of one now! Absolutely no excuses........
I hope life shits on you every single day!