In real need of some advice.
Partner and I have been together 6 months, he’s quite a bit older but that’s never been an issue, me being 17, him 39.
We were completely upfront with one another from the get go and didn’t just dive into the relationship headfirst, we discussed what each of us wanted in life and out of a relationship and it was all the same things. We’ve always been very straight about everything and there have been no games. This includes our mental health, we have both suffered from bad bouts of anxiety and depression and got through them, and he told me from day one when he finds things too much he likes to shut off from everyone.
Skip forward through a blissful six months of discussions of the future and no issues going undiscussed.
I could see his stress levels building over the last few weeks (mainly around work and a couple of outside influences) and then next thing he tells me he’s quit his job and goes off the grid for two weeks, telling me he’s turning his phone off and needs to figure out what he’s doing, it’s not just me he wants to be away from, it’s everyone and he still very much loves me.
Two weeks in, a couple of texts and him just repeating that he’s in a really bad place mentally and needs to not speak to anyone, and he doesn’t know what he’s doing anymore. He’s got his job back and has been back at work for the last couple of days, but still doesn’t want to speak. I can see he’s in a bad headspace and is very much not doing well mentally, and I believe he’s gone back to work as it’s where he can be on autopilot and doesn’t have to think about what’s getting to him or triggered this reaction.
I know for a fact it isn’t just me he’s shut out, it’s everyone, but I’m now in a state of the unknown as to how to handle this.
My initial reaction is to draw a line under it for now and I shall make my mind up if and when he does decide to contact me. I told him straight in a very brief phone call that I would not contact him from now on unless he was ready and have very much left the ball in his court. He’s suffered a huge amount of emotional trauma in his past and I know I can never change or heal that. The relationship has always been so balanced and even and communication was never a problem.
I’m now at such a loss as to what this means for the relationship as it’s come as such a huge shock and I just feel completely blindsided by the whole situation. I know his mental health has a lot to answer for with it, and I’m not going to kid myself that he’s still behaving unfairly and selfishly without thinking how it’s affecting me, but I guess I’m just searching for some advice or personal experiences?
Thank you 😔