DH due home this morning....what do I say to him?

[barney2]

DH due home this morning - been away with work since Wednesday night....had big argument with him on the phone last night - told him I was fed up with his hours of work (7am to gone 7pm) plus being away - I'm left at home with two kids (8 & 3) - I work part-time too - don't know what to say to him anymore - he was in the pub last night with his work mates having a great time - I was sat at home surrounded by housework.

He's due home this morning and I don't know what to say to him - he texted me last night and said I was the best thing that has happened to him and that he loves and misses me a lot. He can be all lovey dovey all weekend and then we're back to normal Monday morning with him leaving for work at 7am and not home till late - y'know....the normal work, eat, sleep routine.

What do you want him to do? Change jobs? Ask for something measurable like "I want you to be home at six three nights per week".

I'd love it if he could be home by 6pm some evenings but unfortunately the motorways dictate what time he gets home - he works up and down the country and with traffic and roadworks he can never be sure what time he'll be home....I know he can't help that but in the meantime I'm stuck at home with two kids and all the other mundane jobs to get done at home and he comes home, eats his tea and falls asleep! Great.

(sorry - just changed Id - I was Barney 2...but no longer!)

Does he know how you feel? Sounds from his text like he'd be ready to listen to whatever you had to say?

Surely if he had time to be in the pub last night, he had time to drive home and wake up in the same bed as you and the same house as his children.

i think you need to have a calm heart to heart
lots of people work long (and even longer hours) but it is about compromising so one partner does not feel like all the crap is on their shoulders
i can sympathise - me and my DH both work full-time but DH's job can often take him away for days at a time - this week he was away from Monday until Thursday.
However, when he comes home he picks up from me - bathing our DS, taking to nursery etc
I agree with Pigleto - you need to have some goals that work for you all

My Dh works long , long hours, and goes away a bit too....I found i was extremely resentful, as a lot of his late work ,involves taking clients to black tie events or very , very swanky restaurants...whilst i sit at home.....

so i started to make my own plans to go out, with my friends, or have friends come over, that really helped...

so i didn't feel i was always waiting for him to come home, or my life was on hold

I have asked DH to come home early on fridays , so we can eat together at least once a week, and quite often he is home earlyish 3 nights a week

if he has to work these hours, then c;est la vie......very few jobs are solely 9 - 5

He was in a pub last night because he was in London after his training had finished - I don't resent him going to the pub, far from it, and he had to get the tube back to where he was staying and had had 3 pints so couldn't have driven anyway.

However, he's just walked in the door with a bunch of flowers and gave me a big hug and said sorry. I've had a chat with him already and he has promised he'll try his hardest to get home earlier during the week and that he will start to say 'no' when being given extra jobs during the day which in turn causes him to be home late from work.

We'll see....