RELATIONSHIP

[MARYMAN]

My wife does not want to have sex anymore and I totally accept this now. I have read that female led relationships can work well and I am keen. I suggested a Downton Abbey Day where I had to do any jobs requested and thoroughly enjoyed it, my wife was reluctant as she didn't understand it but has agreed to do another one soon. How do I convince her that I am genuine and want to do this going forwards.

Patronising and controlling over what? Of course jobs are done without asking, maybe not always. And what's wrong with suggesting my wife should treat herself, she's not a shrinking violet. But let's be honest we all hesitate when on a budget so maybe a suggestion from a partner takes away that guilt when buying a luxury item. We have always had a joint bank account and like any couple you check what's been spent and question it, we are not millionaires. I don't see any comments about how she might be feeling after retiring and maybe needing a new focus. I have suggested voluntary work or helping at school. I am trying to be supportive!

MARYMAN
It is so hard, in past 5 months we have had sex 3 times. He does try especially when it gets to surface, but it’s not enough. I miss the lust, In my other relationship and right up till the end it was not a problem, I told him he’s my karma 😔 sexless for life. I told him this morning I just can not do it anymore he said he would change but I haven’t been able to change him in 10 years. I sometimes think I’m the wrong gender for him and that’s the problem!

Oh no, wrong gender doesn't sound good, I wish you all the best

The thing is how can you know that you are compatible for sex, it's such a taboo topic and can change over time. The best was when we were trying for children, but you didn't know it was the best time. It's not easy to say walk away when there is so much going on