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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Why can't I do it?!

8 replies

HollyLM · 01/03/2019 16:05

I'm still in a relationship I know I shouldn't be! I'm so annoyed about not being able to actually leave! I'm almost 31 and would have to start again, Including going back home! I just want that happily every after and I'm so worried leaving will mean I won't ever have that!!! xx

OP posts:
whatsnewchoochoo · 01/03/2019 16:06

But staying guarantees you'll never get it.

You can do this Thanks

hellsbellsmelons · 01/03/2019 16:17

I'm so worried leaving will mean I won't ever have that!!!
Doesn't staying make you worry about this more?
You are 31 - you have lots of time.
But if you keep delaying this time will get shorter and shorter.
You will never find your happily ever after unless you leave.

Singlenotsingle · 01/03/2019 16:20

Just do it. Procrastination is the thief of time...

Original poster
HollyLM · 04/03/2019 09:37

Thank you, everyone...Smile

Anyone else? Xx

OP posts:
pumpkinpie01 · 04/03/2019 09:45

Your better off on your own than with the wrong person.End the relationship time time to yourself , you will meet someone when you are least expecting it.

maximumcarnage · 04/03/2019 09:49

It's difficult, akin to climing a mountain. You look at the effort and heartache involved, having to rebuild your life it just seems so much work and it seems easier to accept what you've got. I've been there, I know what it's like. I think for me what ultimately pushed me to leave was when I stopped to think about it. Did I want this to be my every day till the end of my days? The idea of living unhappily till I am knocking on my coffin was enough. It's going to be hell for the short term but ultimately you will get past it, a fresh start can be a wonderful thing.

ImMeantToBeWorking · 04/03/2019 10:37

I met my DP when he was 31. My autie met her DF at nearly 40. Another auntie (single mother) had her first child 2 months before her 40th birthday party. Don't for one min think 31 is too old.

If you know you should not be in the relationship then don't stay, it is not worth it. Do you still want to be with this person in another 31 years?

dontgobaconmyheart · 04/03/2019 10:47

You can do it OP, it's just hard. Look into sunk cost fallacy in the context of relationships, I found understanding the issue for what it was quite helpful, it took away the thoughts that there must be valid reasons I wanted to stay or I'd have already left, when that wasn't true.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anxiety-files/201409/letting-go-sunk-costs%3famp

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