@mamoon - that's a dangerous position to advance. The OP has recognised that her anger is irrational and unjustified, but you're still trying to find a way to blame the victim of the abuse. Not cool.
OP, since the counselling and hypnotherapy aren't helping, you ought to see a doctor. There are personality disorders and other mental health conditions that can underlie this sort of behaviour, and it is worth getting a thorough medical review to see if you might have one of those.
However, I will be blunt with you. It seems that you are not blowing up like this with other people - just your partner. That means you can control it. You do control it whenever you are with somebody where there might be consequences - work, strangers, authority figures. You are therefore choosing not to control it with your partner. That is classic abusive behaviour. You abuse because you can, not because it is unavoidable.
Having been married to an abusive woman, my advice to your partner is to leave. And my advice to you is to let him go. Trust me when I tell you that your behaviour does immense harm to the person on the receiving end. You've shown that you "can't" (won't) manage your own behaviour, so to put a stop to this, the relationship needs to end.
Then I would strongly advise you to steer clear of other relationships until you've done a lot of work on yourself with a psychiatrist (a counsellor won't do the job here).
You've taken a step that many abusers never do, by recognising that your behaviour isn't okay. That's a start. But it only means something if you actually change the behaviour. Good luck with that. But please stop hurting somebody who doesn't deserve it, while you figure out how to address this.