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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Where to go from here?

3 replies

matthew234 · 01/03/2019 14:10

I had hit it off with a girl I used to work with. There was clear mutual attraction between us, ... we did go on a few "lunch dates", but after I left the company in December, I felt that I was doing most of the "initiation" so I backed off a bit. I eventually asked her out for the following week, where she gave me a soft rejection by saying "yes" but when it came to cementing an actual date she was "unsure on what her plans were the following week".

Anyway, ... I took this as a rejection so did not pursue her further. We did not talk for six weeks. She messages me a couple of weeks ago and we start to talk again, but this time we start to text almost daily. She invites me for lunch and it goes well. We continue to talk almost daily, and then I ask the question on whether she would like to go for drinks.

She says "I would really like to, but right now is not the best time" - I probe her and she says she has just got out of a relationship. I never even knew she had a boyfriend to be honest.

Since then I've kind of backed off (stopped messaging her for ~5 days), but I really am interested in this girl... but I am unsure on what to do?

OP posts:
Marlena1 · 01/03/2019 14:47

I think she doesn't know what she wants. You need to let her do the running for a while.

NameChangeNugget · 01/03/2019 15:09

Take a step back

CoolJule43 · 02/03/2019 09:07

You may be interested in her but is she trustworthy? Was she in a relationship (unknown to you) when you first went out on lunch dates? If she was then don't be surprised if she two-times you if you start seeing her.

It does sound on the face of it that she was so perhaps don't expect fidelity from her.

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