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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feel helpless

1 reply

userxx · 01/03/2019 13:20

Long story short, my friend became involved with an abusive man about 2 years ago, the red flags were there from the minute she got together with him and she chose to ignore.

He did all the typical things, isolated her from friends, bombarded her with calls, made threats of self harm, accuses her of cheating. He moved into her house in super speed time. My question is, what can I do to make her see sense? Every week there is another drama going on, the world she now lives in is so opposite of her old life, its full of shouting and confusion.

Any tips on how to help, I'm feeling frustrated because everyone can see it and she knows deep down but yet she continues on.

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 01/03/2019 13:25

There's not much you can do except be there for her.
Don't let him isolate her completely, always be around.
You could give her Womens Aid number and the web address.
But I'm afraid SHE needs to do this.
On her own - for herself.
I watched my sister go through this.
It was friggin' heartbreaking.
I watched him totally break her.
It took one small thing for her to realise she needed to leave and we went and 'rescued' her the very next day.
If you are in a relationship just keep telling her what yours is like - i.e. what is 'normal'.
That's what got my sister to the realisation stage.

I believe if you look at the Womens Aid website they also have some advice for supporting victims of DA.

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