How to build trust again

[Howtotrust112]

So long storey short i’ve lost a lot of trust in my OH both from the point of view of an emotional affair he has struggled to admit to but also he is capable of causing me hurt knowingly. Due to our circumstances and happiness I have felt before woth him I want to understand if I can in fact get this trust back and how? He says he is sorry but it just feels like words and I cannot see actions. Any advice?

To add I am really stubborn without meaning it on these types of things. Feeling the lack of trust and his judgement is extremely hard and even though I feel the easiest thing would be for me to ‘get over’ and on with things I am not sure I have faith I will feel the same way again.

Why would it be easier to "forgive"? Surely the easiest thing is to just walk away?

Because we have a lot together and I love him. Feel like we have lost our way and had a wake up call. It’s hard to get over the hurt and have faith I will not be hurt again like this.

I’m sorry OP but this sort of thing typically does lead to hurt again. It sounds like you can’t get the trust back because

• he won’t admit to an emotional affair you are sure of
• he is willing to knowingly hurt you

I’m afraid you can’t fix those things by just trying harder to trust him. He has to fix them and do everything he can to make you trust him again. He’s not doing that and you can’t make him.

Your gut is probably right by the way.

Thank you, you’ve articulated the situation well and whilst it’s hard to hear I agree with you.