How can I help a far-right family member?

[ConcernedCousin2019]

Please don't flame me. I am just looking for some practical advice. I am a regular but have namechanged.

One of my cousins is 32. I will call him Callum, but this isn't his real name. Callum was diagnosed with Aspergers around 5 years ago. He lives independently and makes a decent living in the video games industry. He works mostly online.

Most of the family don't have any time for Callum because he is very right wing and racist. Every time he is invited to a family event, he gets into an argument with someone. One of our other cousins had an abortion three years ago as she was having a high-risk pregnancy. Callum will no longer speak to her and slags her off to anyone that listens.

He is very involved in the far right movement. He goes to a lot of marches and protests. He isn't ashamed of his views at all. A lot of his opinions are hateful and racist.

My problem is that I want to help Callum. I realize that he doesn't sound like a nice person. However, I think that he has been sucked into the far-right movement. They accept him as he is and let him say whatever he wants. If they didn't, he wouldn't be there, I don't think. He doesn't have any friends except for other far-righters. He doesn't have a girlfriend and never has (for more than a few weeks).

I am one of the only people that will listen to him (but I do tell him off when he steps out of line). Callum isn't happy, and I don't think he will be until he gets professional help. I have asked Callum to get counselling and speak to his GP. He refuses.

Does anyone have any practical solutions? Callum does listen to me, but he is reluctant to do any of my suggestions.

Okay, perhaps I am being too cynical about this PREVENT program, but even if it only involves a couple of social workers knocking on his door, its not going to do any good. Coronapop is right, he has to want to change. Just be there in case he regrets his actions later on.

It's not just that he wants to change his politics, he'd have to find a new set of friends, too. That really isn't going to happen.

I'd keep an eye on him (particularly if there's a second referendum as that lot will kick off) - listen out for what he's up to, but otherwise there's not much you can do.

He doesn't have any friends because he is racist.
He doesn't have a girlfriend and never has because he is racist.
He isn't happy because he is racist.

His problems are problems of his own creation. He might want to be happy and have friends and a relationship, but does he want to stop being racist? Nope? Then he doesn't get to have nice things. That's just the way it goes.

Plenty of people are autistic and not racist. Plenty of people play video games and are not racist. It's his choice to be like this. By continuing to coddle him, contact him, treat him like a reasonable human being (rather than like a racist) you are enabling him.

TBH it sounds as though you are wasting your time and he has no incentive to change. His attitude to the poor woman who had a termination is appalling. If he kept his views to himself it would not be quite as bad but from your post he doesn't. He is responsible for his own alienation.

Agree with this.

Sorry OP. I would be horrified to have someone like this in the family.
And I would be keeping my distance.

I wouldn't even be coming to any family get-togethers if this kind of shit was being espoused.

But I would be reaching out to the family member who decided to have an abortion.

Plenty of people are autistic and not racist. Plenty of people play video games and are not racist. It's his choice to be like this.

Well you could also say "Plenty of BAME schoolgirls in Tower Hamlets don't join ISIS".

That's not a reason to shrug your shoulders and leave them to the grooming.

Also, autism can constitute a vulnerability to influence. It's a very variable condition.

Grooming is a real phenomenon and needs to be tackled.

I don't think he is involved with any criminals. He spends his time with the EDL and the like. He's never been arrested or anything. Although he is banned from Twitter for racist Tweets.

The thing is, if I walk away, that's it. He will only have these far-right groups. I think I need to be there to give him a more mainstream balanced view on things.

I think I need to be there to give him a more mainstream balanced view on things

Don’t martyr yourself, he’s chosen his path and nothing you say is going to change that OP. Can you have interactions with him that don’t involve politics? About normal things? Is that kind of relationship possible with him? If not, I’d give up.

I have Trump-supporting relatives, and they are decent people who never talk about their views unless prompted. Some might be considered far-right (it doesn’t seem extreme, certainly would not harass someone for having an abortion) and the only one I have a real problem with is a far left relative mentioned earlier, who can never, ever talk about anything else but politics and gets super aggressive if anyone disagrees with him! I do think, as PP suggested, there is an undiagnosed mental
illness behind his rigid thinking.

I'm another one here for getting in contact with Prevent. I did the training recently as part of my job role, its not something I am directly involved in but I found it useful to do and it helped me understand more about techniques organisations and groups use to recruit people to follow a particular ideology or way of thinking.

The home office do an online e-learning module which is well worth looking at if you want some more information on how to help your family member....

www.elearning.prevent.homeoffice.gov.uk/la/m/screen1

Hope you find it useful & you get the support you need to help him.

Speak to a local PCSO or if you don't have one ring 101 or there's a confidential phone number - more info here OP www.npcc.police.uk/CounterTerrorism/Prevent.aspx (hope that link works!!). The Prevent process sits under safeguarding and vulnerabilities, he doesn't have to be massively involved or a master criminal it's about identifying those who are vulnerable to being effectively groomed into a way of thinking and social isolation is one of the big risk factors. A referral will be assessed and, for the purposes of identifying the best way forward, allocated a risk rating. Work is targeted to helping the person understand the views and the alternative perspectives out there to give a balance. Those who do the work range from everyday support workers with extra training through to intensive support networks. He will NOT just be criminalised or added to some fictitious list of low level possibly in the future may be kind of a bit of a threat! Prevent is about challenging, supporting, educating and empowering the person and they are the experts OP, which also means that you have the benefit of remaining neutral and being able to support him as a family member. Good luck

Tbh, I don't think I can report him to Prevent or similar. He definitely wouldn't like that.

I liked the idea of getting an ex-far-right person to chat to him. I'm just not sure how I can organize it.i don't think Callum will be coming to any family events for a while...