Apologies, as this is going to be long. Please don’t be too harsh on me as I’m feeling v fragile about this but I would like to know if you think I caused this. Sorry if some parts are tmi.
Basically a few weeks ago my DP admitted he has been smoking weed throughout our relationship, a couple of nights a week. We were on our way to a night out when this came out so He said let’s not do this now as he didn’t want to get into it but I wasn’t thrilled. He said he didn’t do it when he was with me, so it didn’t affect me.
I suppose it was at the back of my mind after this but he’d more or less told me it wasn’t up for discussion. A week later we were out for dinner and had a nice evening during which he invited me to his house the following evening to make me dinner. We went back to mine and eventually to bed and had sex and were cuddling. I made a little noise, as you do when tired and falling asleep and he jokingly commented are you still going?? As in still orgasming. I didn’t laugh (I was tired. Sleepy and didn’t find it that funny being honest) and he went all huffy and said I couldn’t take a joke. It then ended up with him saying he couldn’t stay if I was being like that so he got up and started to get dressed. This was about 3am. I asked him to calm down and come back to bed but he was furious and left.
I was quite upset. I didn’t hear from him til the following afternoon when he called and said he was really sorry. We didn’t say very much else.
Later that evening I decided to go round, not expecting dinner or anything but I thought we should talk. He wasn’t at all pleased to see me and said he was planning on a quiet night. I said I thought we should talk and he said he had a lot to think about about after the previous night and that I should just go. I didn’t think this was very nice or fair and I told him he’d really hurt me by leaving me like that the previous night. He said, just go and I said, I thought he was sorry about last night, so why angry and hostile towards me. Why aren’t we trying to make up? He said just get out of my fucking house. I noticed during this that there was a joint on the coffee table.
I left, and we didn’t speak for a few days. He texted but I didn’t reply. I was really shell shocked by the whole thing. It’s not the first time he’s shouted at me but this was extreme. When we finally spoke he said none of this would have happened if I’d respected his wishes and left at the start when he told me to.
I probably shouldn’t have gone round at all but I just wanted to make up in person, I had no idea I’d get such a horrible reception after he’d already apologised. He said I should have known the dinner invitation would no longer stand and let him have space. He referred to it as the night I didn’t leave. I think he should have called and told me this at some point. What about respecting my feelings?