How to advise a friend

[ineedsomeinspiration]

Hi everyone I want some advise about what and whether I should say something to a friend. She's currently going through a divorce. She wasn't actively looking for anyone else but a man has got in contact with her via a social media platform and they started messaging each other. Someone she doesn't know at all.

He lives in another country on the other side of the world. They've talked on the phone and face timed. There are plans for him to come to UK for a short break and them to meet up with talk of a holiday in Europe at some point too.

I'm worried about her, she emotionally vulnerable at the moment and dare I say I feel being a bit naive.

How do I explain to her not to fall too hard and pin her hopes on this stranger? Or do I not say anything at all and just see how it plays out?

I don't think you can say anything beyond the usual 'not everyone who posts online is who they claim to be'.

IME, people in this vulnerable position gravitate more towards that person in an attempt to legitimise the burgeoning relationship; will cut you out so they don't have to listen to any challenge to it and then you won't be there to support them when they inevitably fall.

That means they either, a) cling to the 'relationship' more tightly so as not to be left with 'nothing' or b) are left to deal with the aftermath alone.

It's a tough one but, having seen how desperately some people will cling to any sense of hope at all, I'd say nothing.

I think you're right, I just feel like I'm letting her down by not advising extreme caution. I mean nothings going to come of this is it?

Mmm I did know someone who ended up marrying the person abroad. Weirdly they are still together so guess it can work, however 99% of the time people like that prey on women like her. As long as she doesn't get caught up in sending them money she should be fine

I would tell her to be cautious but other than that not much you can do tbh

In your position I would advise her to cease contact with this person. The chances of her being scammed are high. It sounds like a scenario where she will shortly be asked for money for the trip. Even if genuine it is unrealistic given the person lives abroad.
Having said that people only take advice when it is what they want to hear......but as a friend you would have done your best to warn her.

I don't think she has any money to send him and I don't think/hope she would be that silly. He apparently has a good job and travels a lot for work.
I have already asked to be careful but it's worrying me as I'm sure she'll get hurt.