Hello. I’m looking for a bit of advice as I have no one else I feel I can talk to. This might be a bit long, so I apologise in advance.
I’m 23, and towards the end of last year I split up from my husband as he was cheating on me. We got married young, I was 18, he 20. We had our own home, which I put £30,000 towards the deposit as I was very very lucky to be left that sum from my gran when she died.
I had to move back in with my mum and dad until such times as I was waiting on my house being sold or my ex buying me out.
We had it in writing that I put the £30,000 towards the deposit, so that would be paid back to me if anything should happen. Also there is £35,000 equity in the home, so I will get half of that too. Ex is actually giving me £20,000 of the equity, and there will be no problem with me getting my deposit back too. So I am in a very lucky position for wanting to buy a home of my own.
The problem I am having is with my parents. They are alcoholics. I hate living with them, and I think this is one of the reason why I left home so early and got married so young.
Since I have moved in with them, they are badgering me for money constantly, the house is a complete state and they have no issue in expecting me to clean up after them. I pay them rent of £600 per month, and buy my own food, but they still want more money from me during the month for their drink and cigarettes. I walk out with £1300 per month, so once I’ve paid my rent money to them, my food, my travel expenses, Mobile and gym membership I’m finding the majority of the money I’ve got left is going to them and I never get the money back.
Last week, I got note that my ex had sold the house, and the new owners and moving in at the beginning of April, so I will be getting my part of the equity and my deposit back. I didn’t tell my mum and dad this but they have found out and are constantly asking me for money to do up their house (they won’t do up the house they will spend it on drink and cigarettes). I keep ignoring them as I need that money to put towards buying a property of my own.
This morning, my mum has come into my room with my bank statement which arrived and she has opened it, and seen I have almost £5000 savings and is again badgering me for money.
I just dont know what to do. I had a shit childhood and I’m just trying to get myself a good life and my mum and dad just seem to try to destroy it all the time.
When I split up from my husband I got myself a 2nd job at night in a pub to help me with money so I could put it by and also so I could meet new people, get me out the house etc. My dad turned up at the job saying it was to make sure I was okay, but would end up staying in the pub, sitting at the bar, drinking, and whenever any guy spoke to me would start on them, in the end I had to leave.
So now I’m sat in tears Wondering what to do. Would I be stupid to just start looking at flats for myself just now, and when it’s time for me to move in just leave and not tell my parents where I am? The only thing I have with that is they might turn up at my work and cause me hassle.
Please someone give me some advise, I don’t know who to talk to or what to do.