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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Probably being unreasonable

4 replies

Suchanidiot123 · 28/02/2019 01:20

Sorry I just need to vent. I've haven't been with dp long. Got together a year after I left an abusive marriage. He's been amazing since we met. Very open and kind and loving.
Anyway we found out I was pregnant a few weeks ago. He's younger than me. I have dc and in the middle of a degree so we both decided to terminate. I went to the clinic yesterday by myself as he couldn't take time off work.
They gave me the initial tablet and gave me the rest to take home. I inserted the other 4 last night and was in awful pain. He rubbed my back a bit but then got tired so went to bed. He had left for work by the time I got up this morning. Tonight the bleeding has started alongside the pains. I felt I could cope but have been very tearful and upset about the whole thing. Once again he's upstairs snoring his head off and I'm downstairs in pain and bleeding on my own. I have a 13 hour night shift tomorrow and he is off. Aibu to think he should be supporting me through this. I needed him last night but he was asleep. Don't know if it's my hormones or the fact I'm in pain that's clouding my judgement.

OP posts:
SkinnyPete · 28/02/2019 01:28

Times like these you need to communicate overtly about what you need to DP.

LadyB49 · 28/02/2019 01:30

of course I think he should be with you. He is being thoughtless (im being kind here) and perhaps just does not understand If it was me id go up and wake him. Tell him without anger, this isour baby that we are losing even though it was by choice. Tell him you feel upset and emotional and need his company and his support. And Hope he realises he's being unfair.

hellsbellsmelons · 28/02/2019 09:15

Yes, I think he should be with you through all of this.
He doesn't sound very caring.
Is this out of character for him?
I'm sorry you are in pain and I really hope it stops soon.
Is there anyone else you can turn to for some love and support?
I'd want to be there for a friend if she was going through this.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 28/02/2019 09:29

He is being thoughtless but does he actually understand that you are in pain and emotionally upset?

I'm sorry you're going through this.

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