what makes your relationship work?

[johnsmith76]

hi,
just want to ask some tips from everyone in this community,
thank you!

Wanting to do nice things for each other. It’s a bit transactional when you break it down, but in an unspoken way - essentially we both give according to our means and take according to our needs!

I love having my feet rubbed so he does that every evening we spend together. He likes good food, so I will cook him anything his heart desires.

He has more money than me so will take me away or pay for dinner etc. He likes having his back tickled so I will do that while we watch tv or at bedtime.

Essentially just knowing that by trying to do the right thing by each other, we aren’t just endlessly giving, because it’s reciprocated in other ways. Neither of us feels taken for granted as the onus is always on what we can give, not what we can take.

Love
Respect
Equality
Space (sometimes!)
Understanding everyone has a bad day / makes a mistake sometimes
Looking at the bigger picture
Laughter

“Please”
“Thank you”
“Want anything from the kitchen?”
Insane chemistry and regular sex
Holding hands
Thoughtful gifts (him to me: charity shop books and chocolate milk, me to him: fruit pastels, posh cheese)
Celebrating anniversaries

I think being able to have a laugh with each other, me and DP often take the piss out of each other.

Giving space if you have a disagreement and not allowing a disagreement to become a huge argument, which will just result in insults and running around in circles (this happened in the very early days and was so unproductive!)

on the occasion it may be an argument as he’s bloody well annoyed me we never go to sleep on an arguement.

Being thoughtful I.e. a random nice text, cooking his favourite meal or running a bath when I’m on my way home from work. Those little things.

Trust is huge once that’s been built and established you’re onto a winner!