To be concerned about brother?

[PinkGlitter123]

Posted on another forum but didn't get many replies.
My brother who is in his fifties was cheated on by his wife of 14 years last year. He wanted to try therapy but in July they officially split as she decided she didn't want to make a go of things. He was distraught, crying all the time and nearly lost his job. A couple of weeks on, he met a woman, it was a chance meeting. He is now saying she is the best thing that has ever happened to him, that she has healed the family and that she will be a great stepmum to the kids. This has all happened within 6 months from the kid being told to then being introduced to both his new partner and their mum's affair partner.
Am I right to be concerned? I haven't said anything except to exercise caution which clearly hasn't happened. He is besotted with her and both say they are deeply in love and how lucky they are to have met one another.

It’s done now so there’s nothing you can do. Meeting their mother’s OM is probably more confusing than their dad’s new gf and I guess if she’s moved on he can too.

It's all happening very quickly and I am concerned for the kids but I know all I can do is be a stabilising influence for them.

I understand your concern, but your brother is a grown man and should be free to make his own decisions.
I know a fair few people who have met and quickly dived straight in and it seems to have worked. Although many stories too where it hasn't.
From your brothers point of view, the woman he spend years with and trusted, cheated on him after all that time, so doing things the long way doesn't always guarantee safety either.
If I were you, I'd just be there for him should he ever need support again.

I do get your point about kids being involved etc, i don't know how old they are, but if your brother has always been a great dad to his children, trust his judgement.
There's no guarantee with any relationship quick or taken slowly.
He's lucky to have a sister look out for him though

The kids are all young.

He says he feels healed and mended because of her but I can't help but worry that she alone is the only one holding him together and that if it ends, he will be in an even worse place.

He is a grown man but a very vulnerable one. Thank you for the advice.

Just be there for the kids when you can. It's nice he's found someone he cares for after being cheated on.

Have you met his new GF? Perhaps invite them over, so you can get to know her a bit better.

I haven't met her but she has sent many cards and gifts to him and its become intense very fast.

I hope he and the kids will be ok. Especially the kids, they have been through a lot and had a lot to process over the past few months.

I suspect it won't last. Sorry to be negative but she is a rebound for him. He's getting his needs met and its distracted him from his pain. The attention he's getting from her (and sounds like its intense) is probably just what he needed but I suspect that will wear off.
Similar happened to me. I split from 17 year relationship and 8 months later, I started seeing someone. It was full on and intense which is what I wanted at the time. It didn't last though and I see now it met my needs at the time but that is all it was.

Sometimes, the right people come at the most time of need. She could be his heaven sent, who knows? But I'm keeping my fingers crossed for your bro after all he's been through.

I second what above pp said about you inviting them round for dinner, that way you could at least lay the getting to know her foundation.

You're such a caring sister, looking out for the best for him. Keep it up .

I think that's where my concern is. If they had started off as friends and then began casually dating I wouldn't be as worried. The fact its headed straight into a full-blown deep relationship where he says he can't believe his luck and that he is deeply in love worries me, especially when he was sobbing over his ex a month before he got with the new woman.

This woman says she is ready to take on this journey with him and is ready for all the challenges. She's made a lot of promises and declarations and was doing so just 2 months in.
I also feel that he's looking for someone to fill a mother role. As much as I dislike his ex, the children will only ever have one mum.
There's lots of red flags but the damage is done now and I just hope the children more than anyone are not going to be even more hurt in the future as they have been through enough.