Could there be an innocent explanation?

[girlsgirls20]

I've been with my DP for 4 years and we have 2 DDs. I was sorting the washing out earlier so I had brought the washing basket downstairs and my DD (nearly 3) ran off with it as she usually does. Anyway, I carried on sorting the washing out and then sorted her dinner, whilst she was eating I tidied up the living room and found a pair of women's knickers pushed onto my younger DDs playmat. They weren't there before so my DD must have found them somewhere (unfortunately she is speech delayed so I can't ask her where she found them). They are definitely not mine so I have no clue where they came from. Although I have no reason to suspect my DP has ever cheated, my mind automatically jumped straight to the worst. The washing basket was second hand when we got it so I really want to believe that they were hidden in the lining and were the previous owners, but I can't stop thinking the worst. So, I guess my question is, what do I do?

Worth mentioning that there are 2 layers of lining so for them to be underneath the lining, they must have been deliberately placed there rather than mistakenly.

Sorry to ask this op- would there be a reason someone would have hidden them? Are they dirty/ugly looking etc? Just wondering why someone would deliberately put them in the other layer.

How long have you had it and what items of your husbands were in the laundry?
Thinking the worst case scenario so wondering if they were in a jacket pocket for example.
Hopefully it's all innocent but I too would be freaked out.

Sorry your dp not husband.

Firstly OP I wouldn't confront him. Yes there could be an explanation but I have no idea what that could be.
I would keep an eye on things and see if anything else raises red flags. If he is cheating (i hope not), then confronting him will just make him remove any other evidence and make him hide things more.

I’m sure if people are cheating they wouldn’t tend to bring underwear back to their family home or put it in the wash cycle?

There's several explanation's. They could be OW''s. They could be his. They could belong to previous owner of washing basket.

The only way to find out is to ask him and watch his reaction very closely. Then decide what you feel to be true.

I've found random knickers before and just assumed they've belonged to my daughters friend where they've had sleepovers! To be honest I can't see why they'd end up in your laundry, an ow is hardly likely to get you to wash them for her, unless they were in his pocket when he put his clothes in the wash? I would just keep a close eye on things for now and see if there are any other suspicious things that come to light.

@Zoflorabore - I can't see any reason why, they aren't ugly (black, size 12, classic briefs) they aren't particularly dirty, though I didn't inspect.
It was mainly his works clothes and his suit jacket was in there.

@f83mx - I thought that too, I can't see any logical explanation why anyone would but I also can't find a reason why they would be in there, and hidden.

A friend of mine was in a sexting relationship with someone that she met online. They met for drinks and he asked her for her knickers as a souvenir ( I’m not sure how he phrased this request) and she handed her knickers over. He was very kinky by all accounts.

Have you been to the gym or swimming recently?
I'm the kinda person to lose knickers and my keys and everything else as I'm changing.

Would your dp fit into size 12 knickers?

I’m normally skeptical in these situations but honestly think this could be innocent. I recently found some prints in the house that I’d never seen before. My ex didn’t recognise them either. A total mystery how they got here!

So the basket was empty when she ran off with it? Could she have reached in while it was full of his clothes?

Is her receptive language developed enough for you to say, “Can you show me where you found these?”

@MsDogLady - it was empty yes. As soon as I brought it down from upstairs I emptied it on the kitchen floor so I can check what's going through the washing machine, there was nothing in there when she took it and they definitely weren't in amongst the laundry. No she isn't, I did try and ask but she just doesn't understand things like that yet.

When you say second hand basket what do you mean? We have an Ikea one and I’m constantly finding knickers and socks tucked in between the wooden box and the lining of it.

If you have bought of off someone then I would presume they would know items get stuck and would have checked it.

It could be anything though; don’t think the worst and for the love of god don’t listen to the people who will pipe up saying ‘ducks in a row’ or ‘ltb’.

Just ask!

My sister babysits for me and also sleeps in my house regularly. She pops her smalls in my washer and doesn’t tell me and has stolen my knickers. Could be something like that. Don’t think the worst x

I would wait for a casual moment and just ask, armed with the knickers in question.

Usual if someone has anything to hide they will not be comfortable in that situation, especially if you have the actual evidence with you, and it will tell you a lot even if they don't verbalise as such.

It could all very well be innocent so I wouldn't jump to any conclusions just yet, but since you're wondering it's definitely worth asking.

@mystar - it was given to us by a friend of DP's nan along with some other stuff when we moved in together. Because of the way the basket is, there is no way they were there by accident. It's a wicker basket with 2 layers of lining that are firmly tucked over the top by about 3 inches or so, if that makes sense?

Say nothing and do some digging.

I'd be tempted to leave them somewhere he could find them, but that he would think you haven't seen them, if that makes sense, then see if they disappear or if he just leaves them be and assumes they are yours.

I'm with @frenchonion

If there is an OW, and I am definitely NOT saying there is (because, really, there is no way to know that at this stage) I can absolutely imagine her tucking a pair of underwear in his pocket to try and have him 'caught out'

My laundry bin has a calico lining which fits over the top of the basket. Odd socks and things are always getting lost in the bottom of mine.

Same with douvet covers, they go through the wash and and even after line drying I later find knickers and socks have worked their way inside.

I wouldn’t get too worked up about it.

Just imagine if I gave you one of my old douvet covers and you later found a pair of my pants floating around in your washing machine!!!! How would I ever convince you that I hadn’t been getting frisky with your DP.

My advice OP, chuck them in the bin and forget about them.

You don’t have a cat do you? I have know a few cats who nick things and bring them home. Round us there’s been a lot of washing out for the first time this year because of the nice weather.

Duvet covers ^^