Come and talk to me about a 15 year age gap...

[SaveItForTheBirds]

I think I need you lovely lot to come and give my head a wobble...

I've been in a really good relationship for the last 10 months. We have an awful lot in common, enjoy the same things, have loads of fun together. We're also on the same page about loads of other stuff - for example, we are both separated and have children of similar ages and we're both very definite about not wanting to move in together/blend our families any time in the foreseeable. We're both quite fiercely independent and enjoy our own space so from that point of view, we're a really good match. I absolutely adore him and as far as I can tell, he feels exactly the same way about me. In so many ways, I couldn't be happier.

So... why am I so hung up on the age gap? I'm 41, he's 56 and although it's never ever a problem when we're together in terms of the things we enjoy doing, it's often in the back of my head as a potential problem in the future. He's a very healthy and young looking 56 and particularly because he had his children quite late in life, most people think he's younger than he is. I've tried to figure out why it bothers me but I can't quite put my finger on it.

Can anyone with a similar age gap offer any advice?

Poor health can strike at any time. I ended up a carer for my dh at 23, he was 22. Accidents happen.

I wouldn't base a relationship on what might happen.

I'm 12 years younger than DH. I am planning an early retirement so we can spend some fun time together.
He has health issues but both his parents lived to a ripe old age despite health issues so I'm optimistic.

There's 15 years between me and DP. I was 18 nearly 19, he had just turned 34, when we met. Everyone said it would never last because of the gap. He is still my second ever partner, because of this got told he'd soon be off.

They told me he'd meet someone closer to his age whilst I was starting my career so he could settle down. He was using me as a side piece. I was breaking up a family (he had no DP at that point let alone children). Asked if I was prepared to play step mom. Asked if I needed my head examining. Got asked by one of his friends if he helps me with homework 🙄 once. All sorts of shitty put downs.

12 nearly 13 years later were stronger than ever. Have outlasted most of our friends relationships. Have a wonderful six year old son and a lovely home.

In reality he supported me (emotionally not financially) through university, through my teaching career, through redundancy, through family deaths, through my depression everything. I couldn't, and, wouldn't ask for better.

I know that because of the gap there could have been age related health issues later on. In reality it's happening now at 46 (although not age related) and are involving lots of very invasive tests. Health issues could occur at any age, not just when he's older and I'll support him every step of the way.

Honestly most days there's not an age gap at all, other than when we talk about songs/tv/films when growing up 😉