I can’t turn to anyone about my partner

[Lostcause24]

My partner is 7 years older than me when I first got with him he was an alcoholic (of course I didn’t know right then) until I started finding empty bottle of vodka bottles anyway fast forward he cut back got help etc but still can’t handle a drink, yday was his sisters wedding we were all drinking from 10am right through until 9pm , when we got home I don’t know how exactly it started I’m not proud but I slapped him I’m gutted at myself because now I’m no better, he smashed up my house & was throwing everything he could reach at me I’ve woke up covered in bruises , I kicked him out last night because the whole thing just turned real nasty & I left my phone at the wedding venue so couldn’t call my mum for help , he left the house n I couldn’t find the key so I put the chain on , he booted my door through marched back in looking for his phone , I have never been so scared in my life when I eventually fell asleep I woke up because I had a night mare about him now I’m sitting here thinking what is life ? What will happen next now that is already escalated to this ? I feel ashamed to talk to anyone because now I’m also in the wrong 😌

@Lostcause24 i was in a similar situation myself. What you can do is draw a line under things mentally and start practically working out how to get out of your situation. I also couldn't really talk to many people but you only really need one person as a sounding board I think. I had small children myself so an added complication. Finally I got him to leave, we have a much better relationship nowas friends, he still drinks but that's his issue really. Try and get out of the situation as it will never change, only escalate. There is also an alcohol board on the chat pages here where you'll also get a lot of support too.

@eesha thankyou for your advice , I just don’t know how I ever got myself in this mess , when he’s good he’s perfect but when things go awol like they did last night really makes u think , so of course I kicked him out last night he posted my phone through my letter box today & I noticed he tried to guess my passcode because my phone was disabled , I just don’t know how the talk will go , I’m so ashamed of myself because I slapped him I feel now that he can hold that against me 😌

@Lostcause24 I also pushed my ex but that's because he almost drove me to it. I was so mortified at my behaviour but it was the straw that broke the camel's back really. Honestly this isn't a life for you, and my life is so much better without that drama. Focus on getting yourself out of such a situation. I am still single but the whole experience taught me what I deserved, and it was more than my ex could offer.