My oh's ex blames me for them splitting up even though it's not the case. From what I can gather they were both quite unhappy and as oh and I were work colleagues/friends he would occasionally talk to me about it. At one point some messages were exchanged, nothing untoward and I was clear about boundaries and how I was happy to speak to him about personal stuff once the relationship had ended but before then it wasn't really appropriate.
However she found these messages and went mad telling everyone we'd been having an affair, sleeping together, that I'd sent him nude photos (complete rubbish) and basically painting me as a home wrecker even though I'd tried to be anything but!
She was slagging me off all over social media which I'll admit I got a bit obsessive over checking because I was so anxious about what people were saying. She tried adding me on things, was liking pictures of my children and dogs, she slagged me off to so many people that I was hearing gossip about myself in my workplace, children's school playground, even when I was in supermarkets!
Me and oh eventually did talk and get together which made it look even worse but this was a few months after they'd split. She was forever posting inspirational quotes about what a great woman she was and how cheaters are scum etc etc etc.
Tried very hard to rise above it but it did cause problems with oh and I because I felt like I wasn't really being supported and he didn't know what to do to stop it.
Eventually she got with someone else and it calmed down again. We are now two years down the line and I'm guessing she's split up with her partner because once again I've noticed a passive aggressive fb post about 'women who steal men are tramps' and a bunch of comments slagging me off once again.
I rarely check her fb now and I know I should just stop but sometimes curiosity gets the better of me. I'm trying so hard not to get annoyed about it but the injustice of it really gets to me sometimes. I've never retaliated or put anything on social media. Has anyone else had to put up with a partners toxic ex? How did you deal with it?