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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

? Emotional incompatibility

1 reply

sunshiney78 · 26/02/2019 23:53

I’m not sure whether to end a relationship because it’s not meeting my emotional needs, or whether I need to just go with the flow and fulfil myself in areas out of my relationship:

I’m 40, divorced and have one DC7. I’ve been seeing someone for 10 months with a break in between when he said he couldn’t give me what I need in terms of time. And he then came back.

He is an introvert and has a very busy job, and his hobbies, independence and alone time are very important to him. He is 40, no DC, and never lived with a partner. I think he has ASD traits. We see each other every 7-10 days for an evening/night/breakfast. Daily text contact (not very affectionate from him, mostly affectionate from me), no phone calls.

On the other hand he is very affectionate when we meet, I have no doubts about fidelity, says he loves me, has introduced me to his friends and parents, takes me on dates and plans w/ends away. And recently insisted on helping me get a medical condition sorted & coming to specialist’s appointments. Hasn’t met my DC yet, but talks fondly of her & bought her gifts for Xmas & bday.

I get the feeling that lack of physical and emotional space makes him uncomfortable to an abnormal extent. I would love to eventually live with a partner, but I’m not sure about him. Are we just incompatible?

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 26/02/2019 23:56

I think if you've said I love you and it's been nearly a year, you have to brave the where do you see us going conversation. Perhaps in the context of meeting your daughter, wanting to know where things are before you do so?

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