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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Is being uptight a good thing?

20 replies

ANDYHANDY · 26/02/2019 20:18

My DP said today that he thought I was uptight. This was in the context of him trying to convince me to give him oral in public.

I wasn’t comfortable with this and he was laughing to himself. I then asked him if he thought I was uptight. He said yes.

This really isn’t a good thing is it? I’m increasingly seeing that he isn’t a nice person.

OP posts:

Tennesseewhiskey · 26/02/2019 20:21

Hmmm I would take upright as a compliment. It's good to have boundaries, uptight is beyond that.

However I would not consider someone uptight because they did want to give a blow job in public.

Doesnt sound like you wre uptight to me. He sounds like a dick though, he is trying to shame you into it

Tiptopj · 26/02/2019 20:29

Not wanting to have oral sex (or any sex for that matter) in public doesn't make you uptight, it makes you normal.

Tennesseewhiskey · 26/02/2019 20:30

I wouldnt take uptight as a compliment

Closetbeanmuncher · 26/02/2019 20:41

Can you give other examples of why he isn't a nice person?

I don't think calling you uptight was very fair.

Original poster

ANDYHANDY · 26/02/2019 21:01

He is quite cold to me and ogles other women all the time.

OP posts:

NameChangeNugget · 26/02/2019 21:53

Nothing wrong with doing that if you’re both consenting however, calling you uptight as you refused, isn’t on.

AnyFucker · 26/02/2019 21:55

What are you with this pillock for ?

MumsyJ · 26/02/2019 22:09

Jeez that's a bit disrespectful giving him blowjob in public knowing your stance on it!

Stop wasting your time with this selfish git. Let him go have his public blow job elsewhere. Good to know you've got standards OP 👏

Original poster

ANDYHANDY · 27/02/2019 07:09

Thanks everyone for replying. I think I need to end this. He is always trying to push my boundaries and it’s a massive turn off for me.

I want to feel loved and safe not just a human sex doll for him to use as he sees fit.

He just can’t seem to accept me for who I am.

OP posts:

Ravenclawclassof84 · 27/02/2019 07:16

He sounds like a complete twat. Bin him.

Tennesseewhiskey · 27/02/2019 07:35

You really do need to bin him. Uptight about not having sex in a public place is trying to embarrass you into it.

He doesnt respect you or care about your feelings. Getting his jollies are more important

wishywashy6 · 27/02/2019 08:10

Not wanting to suck dick in public doesn't make you uptight.
He sounds like a bellend OP, how long have you been with him?

Original poster

ANDYHANDY · 27/02/2019 08:14

We’ve been together for almost six years. It’s only in the past year though that I’ve started to realise that he is abusive in a number of small ways.

OP posts:

wishywashy6 · 27/02/2019 08:20

Do you feel like you want to continue the relationship?
I'd find this kind of thing a big turn off. A man who respects you and makes you feel good about yourself is far sexier than a plank who tries to shame you into getting his kicks.

TheMightyToosh · 27/02/2019 08:20

At best, you're not compatible. Pushing your boundaries is the opposite of making you feel safe and loved for who you are. I would move on.

BuildAParsnip · 27/02/2019 08:22

OP you deserve to feel loved and safe, as you say.

Piapiapianopianopiano · 27/02/2019 08:47

Uptight for not wanting to give him a blowjob in public? Couples have been arrested and their names splashed across the papers for this, I'm certain it's some sort of public decency offence.
Tell him to practice on his own at home, no-one else wants to see anyway.

mogratpineapple · 27/02/2019 09:41

Uptight - someone said this to me after I refused to let him 'feel my boob'. Screamed at me that he meant it as a joke and I was uptight.

Yes, definitely a compiment.

Closetbeanmuncher · 27/02/2019 23:54

It doesn't sound like a pleasant relationship at all, I think you should end it.

HollowTalk · 27/02/2019 23:58

He wants you to give him oral sex in public and you're even considering continuing in the relationship?

Haven't you heard of newspaper front pages and social media?

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