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Relationships

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Original poster

Marking our 30th anniversary while divorcing

9 replies

callmekitten · 26/02/2019 16:47

STBX and I are in the middle of a divorce. We are on good terms and still love each other but realize that our marriage just isn't working anymore. It was a mutual decision to separate and since making that decision, we have been getting along better than we have in a long time. Sad that we cannot be happy within our marriage but so happy that we don't hate each other.

Anyway, our 30th anniversary is coming up soon and I am looking for a way to mark it that fit the situation that we find ourselves in. Any ideas?

OP posts:

NWQM · 26/02/2019 16:56

Do you mean the two of you? Family and friends? Or how you get through the day?

Original poster

callmekitten · 26/02/2019 17:02

I am open to any suggestions but I was thinking the 2 of us or just me. We talked about having something for family and friends but we think it will be too difficult for them this early on.

OP posts:

Ispini · 26/02/2019 17:22

Sorry to hear about your split but both of you sound like you are dealing with it well. I think a quiet lunch for the two of you would be nice. It would cement your future friendship while not being a romantic type evening thing. I wouldn't include family, as you say it could be awkward or difficult for them. Wishing you all the best for the future.

ConfCall · 26/02/2019 22:00

I'm not sure I'd do anything OP. There is nothing to mark, the marriage is over, however amicably it occurred. I think it would make a difficult day marginally more difficult, especially if one of you is a little less keen on the divorce than the other.

Sorry if I sound negative, I really am, I just think that it doesn't seem very forward-looking.

bigchris · 26/02/2019 22:02

Oh I wouldn't unless you want romance and him back in your life as a partner

Ellisandra · 26/02/2019 22:13

I like the idea suggested of a lunch cementing your friendship.
I would not be involving other people - if I were your friend, I wouldn’t find it “difficult” but weird as fuck! How can you ask people to celebrate 30 years of marriage when the only reason you’re hitting 30 years is because divorce is not a one week process. It would be very odd. People would find it awkward rather than difficult. Hallmark don’t do a card for “happy anniversary and hope the divorce goes well”!

gower4 · 26/02/2019 22:15

I wouldn't do anything. Sorry to sound harsh, but the marriage is over.

LizzieSiddal · 26/02/2019 22:22

I agree about not involving other people. Some of them could be feeling really upset about your split and may not feel like attending anything.

A meal for the two of you is a good idea. I do think it sounds ever so sad though as you say you’re both getting on so well. Are you both sure
you want to divorce?

Original poster

callmekitten · 26/02/2019 23:44

Thank you for your answers. A quiet meal does sound nice but I understand those of you who say you wouldn't do anything.

Yes, we are sure about the divorce. We have struggled with this for a while and we just can't make it work. When the focus shifted from saving our marriage to being happy, the answer was clear.

OP posts:

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